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We can all use a laugh
- Thread starter DILLIGAF
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tictastic
Well-known member
I just joined a support group for compulsive masturbators.
We are trying to pull ourselves together.
We are trying to pull ourselves together.
tictastic
Well-known member
My friends wife said she was "just going out to pick up some milk" a few days ago.
And she never came back. I was a bit concerned about him so I thought I'd send him a text to see how he's coping. He replied "yeah, I'm fine. Have just been using the powdered stuff"
And she never came back. I was a bit concerned about him so I thought I'd send him a text to see how he's coping. He replied "yeah, I'm fine. Have just been using the powdered stuff"
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Tony
Guest
I
Ian65
Guest
And you state your a DR
DR Ian paisley springs to mind , full of shit but loves his own voice
boab1916
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don mirco bianchi
@mircoDmirco
Dopo aver dedicato la vittoria a tutti gli italiani, la nostra nazionale ha deciso di donare per intero il premio ricevuto, € 250.000,00 a testa, ad alcune associazioni onlus. Il capitano Chiellini ha precisato che quei soldi non passeranno nemmeno sul loro conto corrente.
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don mirco bianchi
@mircoDmirco
After dedicating the victory to all Italians, our national team decided to donate the entire prize received, € 250,000.00 each, to some non-profit associations. Captain Chiellini specified that that money will not even pass into their current account.
tictastic
Well-known member
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “Please stay out of school for one week.”
Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw both your bra straps.” Teacher: “Suspended from school for one month.”
Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Little Johnny started walking out of the class… Teacher: “Why are you leaving?” Little Johnny: “I think my school days are over.”
Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw both your bra straps.” Teacher: “Suspended from school for one month.”
Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Little Johnny started walking out of the class… Teacher: “Why are you leaving?” Little Johnny: “I think my school days are over.”
tictastic
Well-known member
Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman in court...
the judge says "I'm in a good mood today and i'm a dog lover as you well know, now if you can sing me a song about a dog i'll let you off, but if you can't then you're going away for a very long time" Englishman went first "How much is that doggy in the window, the one with the waggly tail..." "Case dismissed, on your way" Scotsmans tun "Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow wow" "Case dismissed, on your way" Irishmans turn "Strangers in the night exchanging glances..." The judge says "You bastard, you'll never see the light of day again" Irishman says "Let me finish the song...scooby dooby doo, do dadadadadada, scooby dooby doo"
the judge says "I'm in a good mood today and i'm a dog lover as you well know, now if you can sing me a song about a dog i'll let you off, but if you can't then you're going away for a very long time" Englishman went first "How much is that doggy in the window, the one with the waggly tail..." "Case dismissed, on your way" Scotsmans tun "Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow wow" "Case dismissed, on your way" Irishmans turn "Strangers in the night exchanging glances..." The judge says "You bastard, you'll never see the light of day again" Irishman says "Let me finish the song...scooby dooby doo, do dadadadadada, scooby dooby doo"
Bridie Bhoy
Well-known member
Oh the good old days.
tictastic
Well-known member
Marriage Advice…
A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, meet with their Mullah for counselling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
Ahmed asks, "We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says Ahmed, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Allah Akbar! (GOD is great) Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks Ahmed.
"Allah Akbar! Mafi Mushkila (no problem)," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" Ahmed asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Allah Akbar. Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Allah Akbar!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! Allah Akbar!"
"Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. Allah Akbar!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No, absolutely not!" says the Mullah."
"Why not?" asks Ahmed.
"Because that could lead to dancing!"
A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, meet with their Mullah for counselling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
Ahmed asks, "We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says Ahmed, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Allah Akbar! (GOD is great) Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks Ahmed.
"Allah Akbar! Mafi Mushkila (no problem)," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" Ahmed asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Allah Akbar. Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Allah Akbar!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! Allah Akbar!"
"Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. Allah Akbar!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No, absolutely not!" says the Mullah."
"Why not?" asks Ahmed.
"Because that could lead to dancing!"
K
kelly
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DILLIGAF
Well-known member
Belter
The Shamrock
Well-known member
When I first heard that joke it was the Wee Free Minister instead of a Mullah.
DILLIGAF
Well-known member
The State of the Union
The Deadner
Well-known member
Barkas' gloves tonight ......
DILLIGAF
Well-known member
Ha Ha
Belter
