We can all use a laugh

A man joins a very exclusive Nudist Club
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?' The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?' She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it means that you called for me.' Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts. Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him. ' Did you call for me?' says the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer. 'You must be new, 'says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it means that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him. The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says. The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the £250 membership fee.' 'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You havent had the chance to see all our facilities.' The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month but I fart 15 times a day.
 
Little red riding hood was skipping through the woods when she noticed the big bad wolf peeking out from behind a tree.
"Oh what big ears you've got" she says to the wolf who replies "all the better to hear you with". She continues her journey.
Later she sees the wolf again looking out from behind a rock.
"Oh what big eyes you've got" she says to the wolf " all the better to see you with" he replies. Again she continues on her journey.
Later on, she hears this unmerciful growling coming from the bushes. As she gets closer the growling gets louder and louder. She looks behind the bush to find the wolf crouched down with his teeth stripped and growling real loud and hard.
"Oh what big teeth you've got" she says to the wolf to which he replies "fuck aff I'm doin a shite"
 

Members online

Back
Top