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😂😂😂😂😂😂

And whit about the time when the Daleks and the Klingons joined forces against Montgomery's Desert Rats in the Battles of El Alamein or the time when Skeletor led the Mysterons in bombing raids during the blitz......did we throw the towel in then, did we fuck! 🇬🇧 🤪

(Part of the 'Ridiculous Things That Didn't Happen' Collection) Available to buy online from the official UKIP website or alternatively get it at the Rangers Superstore. Buy the full Collection and get a free copy of 'How To Lose Friends & Alienate People'

:LOL: Fucking moronic!
 
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Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?'

She asks, 'What?'

'Sex!!' he replies Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!'

'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.'

‘Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.

She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son-of-a-bitch! What does Ethel have that I don't have?'

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's.'
 
An o‌‌ld w‌‌oman a‌‌sks h‌‌er h‌‌usband o‌‌f 6‌‌0 y‌‌ears
‌‌"Honey, w‌‌hat d‌‌id y‌‌ou t‌‌hink o‌‌f m‌‌e w‌‌hen y‌‌ou f‌‌irst s‌‌aw m‌‌e?".

"My f‌‌irst t‌‌hought w‌‌as t‌‌hat I‌‌ w‌‌anted t‌‌o f‌‌uck y‌‌our b‌‌rains o‌‌ut a‌‌nd s‌‌uck y‌‌our t‌‌its d‌‌ry", h‌‌e r‌‌eplied.

"And w‌‌hat d‌‌o y‌‌ou t‌‌hink o‌‌f m‌‌e n‌‌ow d‌‌arling?", t‌‌he o‌‌ld w‌‌oman a‌‌sked.

"I t‌‌hink I‌‌'ve d‌‌one a‌‌ p‌‌retty g‌‌ood j‌‌ob"
😂
 

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