We can all use a laugh

Saw an advert n the telly for Spam ,thought to myself not had Spam for years (remember Spam fritters at school dinners ), so the next day I was in Tesco and went on search of the aforementioned luncheon meat £3.20 FOR A TIN OF SPAM!!!!!!!!! You guessed it Spam is still on the shelf 😂😂
 
Saw an advert n the telly for Spam ,thought to myself not had Spam for years (remember Spam fritters at school dinners ), so the next day I was in Tesco and went on search of the aforementioned luncheon meat £3.20 FOR A TIN OF SPAM!!!!!!!!! You guessed it Spam is still on the shelf 😂😂
Same here Marky
I was in our local grocery store and saw a tin of corned beef (from Argentina)
We used to have corned beef hash and tatties, lovely grub
I bought it, and that was about 4 years ago
I just looked in the cupboard, and there at the back, you guessed it, there's the tin of corned beef
It shall be thrown out, probably within the next four years
Right, spam and chips for tea
 
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While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you, you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it.”
The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.”
The doctor answers, “I’m sorry, there's no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.”
The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!”
The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option.”
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.”
The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid American doctors, always want to amputate. Make more money that way. No need to amputate!”
“Oh, thank God!” the man exclaims.
“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor. “Wait two weeks. Fall off by itself!”
 
The husband leans over and asks his wife "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?
We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in..

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
 

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