A story of Scottishness

IT's the same everywhere Hong Kong had them cockney voiced fkn rabbits givin large till a local belted em then there for the off
when i went to Australia it was the same building sites then onto the cruise ships you always came across a cockney twat ,

Guy on the cruise ship i joined , first day gets introduced to the other crew about 25 of us a mix of Australians and few kiwis and about 6 english
The Guys was a dive instructor so announces he hates jocks , fine i says maybe they hate you ,fk u he says so that set the tone

When your at sea you kinda try to get on with folk but when you have a twat giving it large, funny thing is he would always have to run off when challenged

So like all good barmen at the time you plot revenge , worked the disco bar , the fkr was a bar fly everynight , mouth going non stop thought he was a big hit with the burds

Some over the counter products when mixed with alchol (thanks New York )cause you to shite yourself within seconds 3-2-1 boom
:LOL: it was fkn sweet

He had to cancel 2 days dive class bookings on an 18-30 cruise ,, shame eh

Sheer class, kelly.
 
Meanwhile back at the original subject of the thread . . . .

Loved both stories, especially the original from Dilligaf, and writing this from what used to be Mexico until the 1850s, I can vouch for the toughness of Mexicans and many of my Latin American brethren. In fact when the U.S. goes down in flames (as they often do) in world competition, our fall-back position is Mexico -- they were great during the Miguel Herrera years -- so there's always that.
Ach, you lads are more or less Mexican yourselves in California, Larry!

Viva Mexical
 
About twenty years ago, I knew a bunch of Scottish & English guys, who used to drink in one of our local pubs of an evening and unbeknownst to me, they played a scrimmage football game, once a week
One of the English guys (a cockney) was a barber, so I used to give him my custom & got to know him a wee bit
He mentioned said 'kickabout' and said "We play football every week, it's England v Scotland, You should come out and bring your boots"
I thanked him for the offer, but said "No thanks mate, appreciate it, but I hung up my boots years ago, but thanks anyway"(I was in my mid forties) but I had kept myself in good shape
Anyway, I decided to go along on the night of the 'game' to see what calibre of football we were talking about, if it was calm enough, I might be tempted to strap the boots on agan, just for the exercise
I knew from experience & playing 'over 30's' many years before, that there were too many guys out there, still trying to play, as if it's a World Cup and that's when others get injured...No thanks
So, I am watching and notice that all the players on one team, are wearing England strips, shorts, socks, shirts, the lot (thought it was just a bit of fun
The other team, comprised of a rag tag mix of older (than me) Scottish, Canadian & a host of others, were like the 'Alf Tupper (The tough of the track) Squad'
Some of whom had never played and were jjust out for a bit of exercise
So, I'm watching these 'Morris Dancers' (you know where this is going eh ?)
They played for about an hour and 'England' banged in goal after goal, each one heartily celebrated, as if it was the FA Cup Final, by these knobs...again...you can tell my temperature was rising at witnessing this
Had a beer at the end of the game and a kid who had scored about 5 goals spoke to me, he was on holiday and was in the youth set up at an Enlish pro club
So, next week, it's the same thing, I went along to watch and then...it happened...
The 'Cockney' who was shite at fitba, by the way, but figured that he was David Beckham against the opposition, walked across the field pre game and stuck a big England flag, in the centre circle
I said "OK boys, see you later, might bring my boots next week (I didn't stick around to watch as I couldn't be bothered with all the 'celebrations after each goal)
I shouted, "I might bring a couple of players out next if that's OK"
"Yeah sure, great..."
Following week, I show up with a couple of Scottish mates who played Junior back in the day,
In their late thirties, but still pretty fit
As well as I had brought a box of Navy blue t shirts, with Scotland on the front and 'My two favourite teams are Scotland...and whoever England is playing..." on the back
Handed them out to all the boys on our team
You could just feel the blood rising as they put them on ;-)
Wee team talk prior 'A la Braveheart'
The Canadians played hockey so didn't mind the rough stuff, they were told who to mark and I said..."Win the first tackle, go in hard, no prisoners..."
They were up for it
I said "The wee guy over there...he's mine" One big Jozo tackle and the boy never looked for the ball again ;P
It was a fun night, as we hammered them, they never got a sniff and over the next 7-8 weeks, we beat them every game
Some of their 'superstars' stopped coming out, wonder why ?
Their 'team' wouldn't even come for a beer to the pub afterwards GIRFUY
The Canadian boys loved it and said "Man, that was so good beating those bastards"
Ha Ha
The fire burns deep at times, especially when they're taking the piss and I will gladly watch England lose to anyone, at anything
Nice wee memory jog there
Mon the Scotland !!!
HH
Anyone but England DILLIGAF ??
 
Pure Scottish is slaggin the English in England.

Its a bottle of ginger. Pop sounds fuckin gay as fuck as does popsicle’s. Its a fuckin icepole.
 
Need to check your P Correctness, i though otherwise today about saying Peter the dutch lad had to get his finger out the dikes hole.


Ah yeah it is. I see where your going.

Dyke.

No offence intended to gay people.

Perhaps should have said pop sounds weak but gay as fuck gets my thoughts on how it sounds better for me.
 
What a crackin day i’ve had today. Everyones wiz lovin my lips. Had to say easy tiger a few times grrr ???. In my wee pal was in tears lol whilst a few are looking forward to the banter bus kickin on.

But i have a new boss, might need to break her in gently to the mayhem about to hit ???
 
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