A story of Scottishness

DILLIGAF said:
About twenty years ago, I knew a bunch of Scottish & English guys, who used to drink in one of our local pubs of an evening and unbeknownst to me, they played a scrimmage football game, once a week
One of the English guys (a cockney) was a barber, so I used to give him my custom & got to know him a wee bit
He mentioned said 'kickabout' and said "We play football every week, it's England v Scotland, You should come out and bring your boots"
I thanked him for the offer, but said "No thanks mate, appreciate it, but I hung up my boots years ago, but thanks anyway"(I was in my mid forties) but I had kept myself in good shape
Anyway, I decided to go along on the night of the 'game' to see what calibre of football we were talking about, if it was calm enough, I might be tempted to strap the boots on agan, just for the exercise
I knew from experience & playing 'over 30's' many years before, that there were too many guys out there, still trying to play, as if it's a World Cup and that's when others get injured...No thanks
So, I am watching and notice that all the players on one team, are wearing England strips, shorts, socks, shirts, the lot (thought it was just a bit of fun
The other team, comprised of a rag tag mix of older (than me) Scottish, Canadian & a host of others, were like the 'Alf Tupper (The tough of the track) Squad'
Some of whom had never played and were jjust out for a bit of exercise
So, I'm watching these 'Morris Dancers' (you know where this is going eh ?)
They played for about an hour and 'England' banged in goal after goal, each one heartily celebrated, as if it was the FA Cup Final, by these knobs...again...you can tell my temperature was rising at witnessing this
Had a beer at the end of the game and a kid who had scored about 5 goals spoke to me, he was on holiday and was in the youth set up at an Enlish pro club
So, next week, it's the same thing, I went along to watch and then...it happened...
The 'Cockney' who was shite at fitba, by the way, but figured that he was David Beckham against the opposition, walked across the field pre game and stuck a big England flag, in the centre circle
I said "OK boys, see you later, might bring my boots next week (I didn't stick around to watch as I couldn't be bothered with all the 'celebrations after each goal)
I shouted, "I might bring a couple of players out next if that's OK"
"Yeah sure, great..."
Following week, I show up with a couple of Scottish mates who played Junior back in the day,
In their late thirties, but still pretty fit
As well as I had brought a box of Navy blue t shirts, with Scotland on the front and 'My two favourite teams are Scotland...and whoever England is playing..." on the back
Handed them out to all the boys on our team
You could just feel the blood rising as they put them on ;-)
Wee team talk prior 'A la Braveheart'
The Canadians played hockey so didn't mind the rough stuff, they were told who to mark and I said..."Win the first tackle, go in hard, no prisoners..."
They were up for it
I said "The wee guy over there...he's mine" One big Jozo tackle and the boy never looked for the ball again ;P
It was a fun night, as we hammered them, they never got a sniff and over the next 7-8 weeks, we beat them every game
Some of their 'superstars' stopped coming out, wonder why ?
Their 'team' wouldn't even come for a beer to the pub afterwards GIRFUY
The Canadian boys loved it and said "Man, that was so good beating those bastards"
Ha Ha
The fire burns deep at times, especially when they're taking the piss and I will gladly watch England lose to anyone, at anything
Nice wee memory jog there
Mon the Scotland !!!
HH
Click to expand...
English are twats the world over , we had the same set up when i lived in florida ,
Local pub team was ran by twats all claiming to be lions they even had a cricket league , but the footie team were the worst england strips and even fkn suits wi the 3 lions shit badges on them and they would hold there anual awards nights at the Hilton
Our team when we could get one was made up of Scots,Irish,mexicans americans and mad puerto ricans.

Due to the climate we would have 7am kick offs , they would turn up already in there kit and all on a minibus ,while we we would all be falling out cars pished from the night before and trying on other folks kit cos we'd forgot ours
The games would start off with everyone agreeing to the rules but never lasted
.
Then the oh fk this for a game o soldiers moment would come and everything would go tits up and desend into fight night live

Mexicans are mad fkrs a footie
 
kelly said:
English are twats the world over , we had the same set up when i lived in florida ,
Local pub team was ran by twats all claiming to be lions they even had a cricket league , but the footie team were the worst england strips and even fkn suits wi the 3 lions shit badges on them and they would hold there anual awards nights at the Hilton
Our team when we could get one was made up of Scots,Irish,mexicans americans and mad puerto ricans.

Due to the climate we would have 7am kick offs , they would turn up already in there kit and all on a minibus ,while we we would all be falling out cars pished from the night before and trying on other folks kit cos we'd forgot ours
The games would start off with everyone agreeing to the rules but never lasted
.
Then the oh fk this for a game o soldiers moment would come and everything would go tits up and desend into fight night live

Mexicans are mad fkrs a footie
Click to expand...
The Mexicans can fight like fuck aswell,bet you were glad they were on your side haha
 
kelly said:
English are twats the world over , we had the same set up when i lived in florida ,
Local pub team was ran by twats all claiming to be lions they even had a cricket league , but the footie team were the worst england strips and even fkn suits wi the 3 lions shit badges on them and they would hold there anual awards nights at the Hilton
Our team when we could get one was made up of Scots,Irish,mexicans americans and mad puerto ricans.

Due to the climate we would have 7am kick offs , they would turn up already in there kit and all on a minibus ,while we we would all be falling out cars pished from the night before and trying on other folks kit cos we'd forgot ours
The games would start off with everyone agreeing to the rules but never lasted
.
Then the oh fk this for a game o soldiers moment would come and everything would go tits up and desend into fight night live

Mexicans are mad fkrs a footie
Click to expand...
Hahahahahaha there were a few Mexican students started a 5-a-side team in Dundee, Kelly

Apparently every game turned into a re-enactment of The Alamo.

No wonder they produced so many world-class boxers over the years, they boys love a scrap
 
kelly said:
English are twats the world over , we had the same set up when i lived in florida ,
Local pub team was ran by twats all claiming to be lions they even had a cricket league , but the footie team were the worst england strips and even fkn suits wi the 3 lions shit badges on them and they would hold there anual awards nights at the Hilton
Our team when we could get one was made up of Scots,Irish,mexicans americans and mad puerto ricans.

Due to the climate we would have 7am kick offs , they would turn up already in there kit and all on a minibus ,while we we would all be falling out cars pished from the night before and trying on other folks kit cos we'd forgot ours
The games would start off with everyone agreeing to the rules but never lasted
.
Then the oh fk this for a game o soldiers moment would come and everything would go tits up and desend into fight night live

Mexicans are mad fkrs a footie
Click to expand...

Ha Ha Ha, nice one Kelly
The Ex Pats, or Brits, as they like to be called, are pimples on the arse of life, (in my experience, it's never the Scousers, or Northern English, or guys from outside London) but those cockney wankers, mostly the 'Brits on the Piss' t shirt, wearing fukwits, who couldn't run the length of themselves, but become obnoxious any time a bunch of them get together for a cocktail
They do not endear themselves to the 'locals' or anyone else who is not a POME (Prouct of Mother England) pronounced 'POMMEE' usually followed by the word, bastard ;-)
Mexicans do like to 'throw down' as the expression goes, so you had more back up, than the guy in the White House
Great post Kelly
HH
 
Spherical Planet said:
Hahahahahaha there were a few Mexican students started a 5-a-side team in Dundee, Kelly

Apparently every game turned into a re-enactment of The Alamo.

No wonder they produced so many world-class boxers over the years, they boys love a scrap
Click to expand...

They used to do tequila slammers after the game if we won , a bottle of Cuervo gold, last slammer had to eat the worm in the bottle

They were the days shitfaced and lying in a ditch
 
kelly said:
Mexicans are brill but as you say love a fight ,we had a wee fella center forward ,about bantomweight slight build and he he backed down from no one

Puerto Ricans are the same mentality but brilliant people to know always had your back
Click to expand...
Remember goin to Cancun years ago and my transfer to the hotel telling me were the best Mexican girls went ?i think the guy was trying to get me a tankin
 
DILLIGAF said:
Ha Ha Ha, nice one Kelly
The Ex Pats, or Brits, as they like to be called, are pimples on the arse of life, (in my experience, it's never the Scousers, or Northern English, or guys from outside London) but those cockney wankers, mostly the 'Brits on the Piss' t shirt, wearing fukwits, who couldn't run the length of themselves, but become obnoxious any time a bunch of them get together for a cocktail
They do not endear themselves to the 'locals' or anyone else who is not a POME (Prouct of Mother England) pronounced 'POMMEE' usually followed by the word, bastard ;-)
Mexicans do like to 'throw down' as the expression goes, so you had more back up, than the guy in the White House
Great post Kelly
HH
Click to expand...
IT's the same everywhere Hong Kong had them cockney voiced fkn rabbits givin large till a local belted em then there for the off
when i went to Australia it was the same building sites then onto the cruise ships you always came across a cockney twat ,

Guy on the cruise ship i joined , first day gets introduced to the other crew about 25 of us a mix of Australians and few kiwis and about 6 english
The Guys was a dive instructor so announces he hates jocks , fine i says maybe they hate you ,fk u he says so that set the tone

When your at sea you kinda try to get on with folk but when you have a twat giving it large, funny thing is he would always have to run off when challenged

So like all good barmen at the time you plot revenge , worked the disco bar , the fkr was a bar fly everynight , mouth going non stop thought he was a big hit with the burds

Some over the counter products when mixed with alchol (thanks New York )cause you to shite yourself within seconds 3-2-1 boom
:LOL: it was fkn sweet

He had to cancel 2 days dive class bookings on an 18-30 cruise ,, shame eh
 
kelly said:
IT's the same everywhere Hong Kong had them cockney voiced fkn rabbits givin large till a local belted em then there for the off
when i went to Australia it was the same building sites then onto the cruise ships you always came across a cockney twat ,

Guy on the cruise ship i joined , first day gets introduced to the other crew about 25 of us a mix of Australians and few kiwis and about 6 english
The Guys was a dive instructor so announces he hates jocks , fine i says maybe they hate you ,fk u he says so that set the tone

When your at sea you kinda try to get on with folk but when you have a twat giving it large, funny thing is he would always have to run off when challenged

So like all good barmen at the time you plot revenge , worked the disco bar , the fkr was a bar fly everynight , mouth going non stop thought he was a big hit with the burds

Some over the counter products when mixed with alchol (thanks New York )cause you to shite yourself within seconds 3-2-1 boom
:LOL: it was fkn sweet

He had to cancel 2 days dive class bookings on an 18-30 cruise ,, shame eh
Click to expand...
That, was terrible...said...No one...ever
 
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