M
Maria
Guest
Is that today ally?
Ally
Well-known member
Soz pal carried away its Helens birthday today pal. Apologies everybody my heads is somewhere else at the moment. Where I don't know but it's certainly not in hunland. ???????
M
Maria
Guest
It will be bypast this year in my house anyway ally.
Ally
Well-known member
Sister Mary from the convent woke up and got dressed for early morning prayers. As she left her room she bumped into Sister Margaret who said to her you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning, well this happened 8 more times until she ran into Mother superior. Sister Mary said to her don't you dare tell me i got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning, Mother said to her 8 wasn't going to say that I was going to ask why you are wearing the Bishops shoes. ???
Ally
Well-known member
I'll remember you on mother's day like I do all Mothers as they are very very special. ??
michael duffy
Well-known member
watch Scotland playin "fitba"!!!!!!
tictastic
Well-known member
Thats no funny Michael..........
tictastic
Well-known member
On second thoughts..................
michael duffy
Well-known member
rhere's a black guy playin fur Holland called Dumfries!!!!!
!
!
UlyssesGunt
Well-known member
I m finding that hard to swallow ..
UlyssesGunt
Well-known member
Three ladies were sitting on a Park bench on a lovely summers day , when a man jumps out from the bushes behind , opens his coat and flashes them ....
The First Lady had a stroke , the the second lady had a stroke....
....but the third ladies hand was just too far away to reach ....
The First Lady had a stroke , the the second lady had a stroke....
....but the third ladies hand was just too far away to reach ....
tictastic
Well-known member
Landlord: That Spanish actor out of Skyfall was kicking off in my pub the other night.
Customer: Javier Bardem?
Landlord: No, but he IS on his final warning.
Customer: Javier Bardem?
Landlord: No, but he IS on his final warning.
tictastic
Well-known member
A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.
He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.
He’s finally called in and the dentist has him lying down on the chair, asks him to open his mouth wide. As he leans in to work, the dentist says, “damn, have you being doing the 69 before you came in?” The man replied, “how did you know? Is my breath stinking of pussy?” The dentist said, “no, you have a skid mark on your forehead.”
He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.
He’s finally called in and the dentist has him lying down on the chair, asks him to open his mouth wide. As he leans in to work, the dentist says, “damn, have you being doing the 69 before you came in?” The man replied, “how did you know? Is my breath stinking of pussy?” The dentist said, “no, you have a skid mark on your forehead.”
Brimcbhoy
Well-known member
Guy walks into a bar in Washington DC. Trump and vp Pence are in deep conversation in the corner. Guy walks over an says " hey, got to say, I'm a big fan, but what are you doing in my bar?"
"We're planning WW3, We're going to bomb 140 million muslims and a big blond with big tits!" says Trump.
"WTF!" says the guy. "why a big blond with big tits?"
"see" says Trump, " I told you they wouldn't give a fuck about the muslims"
"We're planning WW3, We're going to bomb 140 million muslims and a big blond with big tits!" says Trump.
"WTF!" says the guy. "why a big blond with big tits?"
"see" says Trump, " I told you they wouldn't give a fuck about the muslims"
Weedocbhoy60
Well-known member
Was down the High At this am and decided to visit the ATM. An elderly lady was at the one next to me, she asked
" could you check ma balance fur me son? "
I said "sure" then I pushed her over.
