M
Maria
Guest
Anyone, someone, please tell me a story... a happy or funny one please.
I know a few could do with it.
I know a few could do with it.
Aye me an ma big mucker we’re at the gym last week on the treadmills am on no1 some nugget on no2 he’s on no3,,we like a jaw jaw so this wee poser instead of letting us be next to each other keeps going,,she gets aff to go for a pee,ma mate jumps on but dizny turn his aff,she came back stepped on his and went face first into treadmill then wizzed back into a rowing machine,,,,,,,,????pure shame ,,same age as ma lassie felt bad ???for a minute....Espiritisanto. You not got a funny story for a ghirl ?
Aye me an ma big mucker we’re at the gym last week on the treadmills am on no1 some nugget on no2 he’s on no3,,we like a jaw jaw so this wee poser instead of letting us be next to each other keeps going,,she gets aff to go for a pee,ma mate jumps on but dizny turn his aff,she came back stepped on his and went face first into treadmill then wizzed back into a rowing machine,,,,,,,,????pure shame ,,same age as ma lassie felt bad ???for a minute....
Came across this wee dude Jimmy Young from Belfast yesterday by sheer fluke. And i find his comedy hilarious.
Quite a versatile wee comedian and ivbe never even heard him before
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.
After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” cried the professor, “The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!”
One day, God met with Adam in the garden of Eden
"Hey Adam, I have two new organs for you," said god
"What are they?" Adam Replied
"Well," said God, "We have a brain, which will let you make intelligent decisions and hold conversations with Eve."
"That's Great!" Adam said, "What's the other one?"
"That would be a penis," God replied, "It will let you make offspring to populate the Earth. However, there is one downside."
Adam asked, "What is it?"
"Well, I only have enough blood to let you use one at a time."
Got ma moooves reddy for title party.......??????????
A Jew, a Catholic, and a Mormon are sitting at a bar
The Jew says, you know what, I have so many children I could have my own basketball team.
The Catholic says, oh yeah? I have so many kids I could have my own football team.
The Mormon chimes in and says, well... I have so many wives I could have my own golf course.
As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.
She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh."
The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife.
"Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
Wee Irish fella never been in a city before arrives in Glasgow to see the 'Tic . Standing in the city centre he stares at the traffic lights for so long that a passerby asks him what's wrong .
''Wrong ? Nothing's wrong - in fact this is a great place . ''
Points to the traffic lights - ''They don't give these orange c*nts any time at all to cross the road , but the Tims get loads ! ''