Strange things

[Hoopy427]

Armadillo's, soft on the inside,crunchy on the outside🍽

Armadilloist!!

 

[Weedocbhoy60]

Maybe it's me but the way i see it there's millions of birds flying around every day.
Where do they die? Surely some would just croak it mid flight? I never see dead birds lying around.
What about you?

Plenty. Roadkill usually.

 

[Hoopy427]

OK back to the birdie question, I've given this some thought (which sums up how exciting my life is) 2/3 of the planets surface is covered by oceans and seas, then you have all the lochs, lakes and rivers. Then you have all the farms, forests and woodland and if you look at towns and cities from the air a big percentage of their area is made up of roof tops. So... If a birdie dies in flight its very unlikely to land in a place that you wander about. I've calculated that the chance of walking past a birdie that died in flight is 1 in 17588621 so there you go.

(that last bit is complete bullshit but the rest might be true)

 

[kelly]

A bird will be flying along then think hawd on am no feelin good so will probably go land in a tree or a garden where a fkn cat will kill it for something to do then bury the cat next door so he dosent get in the shit cos he's a wee cnt

 

[kelly]

Folk who say how longs a piece of string ?

do you think they know

 

[Hoopy427]

A bird will be flying along then think hawd on am no feelin good so will probably go land in a tree or a garden where a fkn cat will kill it for something to do then bury the cat next door so he dosent get in the shit cos he's a wee cnt

Then a dug will chase the cat but that's OK, then a miserable tractor driving will try and shoot the cat but that's OK, but thankfully the cat is smarter than dug or tractor driver, dug ends up running into a fence, tractor driver shoots himself in the baws, cat sits up a tree washing its paw quietly laughing at the incompetents thinking I've got 9 lives numbnuts.

 

[boab1916]

?

 

[kelly]

?

you may have a .

 

[DILLIGAF]

Look how many humans are wandering about the streets, how often do you walk past a deid one?

Last time I was at Ibrox, there was fucking thousands of them, dunting aboot
HH

 

[DILLIGAF]

when yer wife/girlfriend drags ye tae the shops,tries somethin oan,and hit's ye wi' "diz ma arse look big in these"! a deathly hush fall's on the store, other shoppers refuse tae make eye contact,everybody's waitin wi bated breath, ye stop shakin,the cauld sweat's subside, ye take the coward's route,and mumble..... "naw darlin".... phuq sake! nae wonder ah'm single! when ah said ye've got an arse the size of a small country!!!!!!

No chance, if they ask, they get an answer
"Do these pants make my arse look big"
"No, your arse, makes your arse look big"

 

[lcafiero]

No chance, if they ask, they get an answer
"Do these pants make my arse look big"
"No, your arse, makes your arse look big"

That always reminds me of this insurance ad in the U.S. (full disclosure: I have GEICO insurance, but not because of this ad):

 

[Fisiani]

Why is a score in American football called a touchdown when you don't have to touch the ball down?

 

[lcafiero]

Why is a score in American football called a touchdown when you don't have to touch the ball down?

Why is a score in rugby called a try when they've succeeded in scoring?

[Oh, and incidentally, it's called a "touchdown" in American football as a holdover from the game's rugby origins. You're welcome.]

 

[michael duffy]

After a bad shot in golf, why do they shout fore/four, instead of shouting watch the phuq out!

 

[michael duffy]

No chance, if they ask, they get an answer
"Do these pants make my arse look big"
"No, your arse, makes your arse look big"

Nae prisoners there D!

 

[lcafiero]

No right answer there, Michael.

 

[DILLIGAF]

That always reminds me of this insurance ad in the U.S. (full disclosure: I have GEICO insurance, but not because of this ad):

We'll...she did ask...
My favourite insurance commercial is the State Farm one guy on the phone in the early hours...wife ssk

Nae prisoners there D!

Subtle, as a train wreck Michael ;-)

 

[DILLIGAF]

That always reminds me of this insurance ad in the U.S. (full disclosure: I have GEICO insurance, but not because of this ad):

THIS, is my favourite insurance commercial...the guy's deadpan comeback...well, yeah...she's a guy ;-)

 

[Fisiani]

Why is a score in rugby called a try when they've succeeded in scoring?

[Oh, and incidentally, it's called a "touchdown" in American football as a holdover from the game's rugby origins. You're welcome.]

It's called a TRY because it entitles you to TRY to make the conversion and get another two points. If however you TRY to score then you always miss because if you do happen to score we say that you converted it. TRY means fail to the subconscious mind.

 

[lcafiero]

It's called a TRY because it entitles you to TRY to make the conversion and get another two points. If however you TRY to score then you always miss because if you do happen to score we say that you converted it. TRY means fail to the subconscious mind.

So, you score on a try, even though you have to try again to gain additional points.

Makes perfect sense