We can all use a laugh
- Thread starter DILLIGAF
- Start date
A gaffer on a building site tells his squad- I have to nip oot for wee while, I dinna want any of you fucking aff to the pub or bookies.
As soon as he is gone everybody heads to pub except Tam who says- my hoose is just doon the road so I'm going there for an hour.
Tam gets hame and settled in when he hears banging upstairs.. He sneaks up and sees his wife n gaffer going at it. Shocked and horrified he heads back to work and says nothing to anyone.
Next day same scenario, Gaffer heads and squad gets set for pub n bookies- What you doing Tam? Are you going home again?
Tam says- am I fuck going hame! I'll just come to the bookies with you, I nearly got caught yesterday.
As soon as he is gone everybody heads to pub except Tam who says- my hoose is just doon the road so I'm going there for an hour.
Tam gets hame and settled in when he hears banging upstairs.. He sneaks up and sees his wife n gaffer going at it. Shocked and horrified he heads back to work and says nothing to anyone.
Next day same scenario, Gaffer heads and squad gets set for pub n bookies- What you doing Tam? Are you going home again?
Tam says- am I fuck going hame! I'll just come to the bookies with you, I nearly got caught yesterday.
DIGGER1155
Well-known member
Time goes fast when you’re old,went into the shower at 25past 9 age 73 came out 10 minutes later I was 74 aye it doesn’t half go quick
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lennono
Well-known member
Happy Burthday Digger....at least ye were in yer burthday suit
DILLIGAF
Well-known member
Happy Birthday Digger
Tempus Fugit my friend
K
kelly
Guest
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DILLIGAF
Well-known member
FFS
You couldn't mark his neck with a blowtorch
DILLIGAF
Well-known member
While getting ready this morning, I could hear a commotion going on in the living room
Our pup has to investigate everything
Then it got quiet, so I figured, OK, she must have gone outside into the backyard
I come out to find the newspaper has been used as a chew toy...she's got hunners of toys, but...
I walk in and shout "Hey !!!...takes no notice and continues the onslaught against the media
Last week, it was one of John Grisham's finest novels, ripped to shreds...FFS !!!
'Readers Digest' anyone ?
Our pup has to investigate everything
Then it got quiet, so I figured, OK, she must have gone outside into the backyard
I come out to find the newspaper has been used as a chew toy...she's got hunners of toys, but...
I walk in and shout "Hey !!!...takes no notice and continues the onslaught against the media
Last week, it was one of John Grisham's finest novels, ripped to shreds...FFS !!!
'Readers Digest' anyone ?
The Deadner
Well-known member
At this point in time, I wouldn't mind putting your theory to the test!
DILLIGAF
Well-known member
Apology Letter To Spouse!
His letter —-
Hi Sweetheart,
I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights. I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something. I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy. All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season. Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights! I took the time to hang the lights for you today and now I will be off to the hockey rink.
Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I’ll be home later.
Love you!
_________________________________________________________________
Her response —
Hi Honey,
Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don’t often get an apology from you and I truly appreciate it. I also felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologize. I realize that I can sometimes be a little pushy. I will try to respect your feelings from now on. Thank you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me. It really means a lot. In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you and now I am off to the mall.
I love you too!
His letter —-
Hi Sweetheart,
I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights. I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something. I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy. All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season. Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights! I took the time to hang the lights for you today and now I will be off to the hockey rink.
Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I’ll be home later.
Love you!
_________________________________________________________________
Her response —
Hi Honey,
Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don’t often get an apology from you and I truly appreciate it. I also felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologize. I realize that I can sometimes be a little pushy. I will try to respect your feelings from now on. Thank you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me. It really means a lot. In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you and now I am off to the mall.
I love you too!
The Deadner
Well-known member
Bridie Bhoy
Well-known member
A little light reading.
lcafiero
Well-known member
OK, boys and girls, quiet down and take notes: This is not too hard to do, at least in the US (or at least in California). Just using my own state for example, Caltrans (the transportation department) sets most -- if not all -- of these signs to the admin/admin login/password, so they're easy to hack into and change.
So I heard. Once. In line for coffee at a local cafe.
We had one of these signs in front of my house about a year ago. Felton is home to The Bigfoot Museum, so someone -- not me, m'lord, I am innocent -- logged in late one night and changed "Road Closed" to "Bigfoot Ahead."
