A gaffer on a building site tells his squad- I have to nip oot for wee while, I dinna want any of you fucking aff to the pub or bookies.
As soon as he is gone everybody heads to pub except Tam who says- my hoose is just doon the road so I'm going there for an hour.
Tam gets hame and settled in when he hears banging upstairs.. He sneaks up and sees his wife n gaffer going at it. Shocked and horrified he heads back to work and says nothing to anyone.
Next day same scenario, Gaffer heads and squad gets set for pub n bookies- What you doing Tam? Are you going home again?
Tam says- am I fuck going hame! I'll just come to the bookies with you, I nearly got caught yesterday.