We can all use a laugh

[According to Saul]

My neighbour just banged on the wall at 4.20am,
can you believe that. Lucky I was still up playing music.

He banged and shouted, “Can we have a little respect please”.

So I shouted back,”I’m not a big Aretha Franklin fan,
but ok, this one’s for you”.

 

[DILLIGAF]

These CNUTS have no shame, no wait they're SCOTLANDS SHAME

'as a Scottish football club, they [Rangers] are a permanent embarrassment and an occasional disgrace. This country would be a better place if Rangers did not exist"
kudos to Ian Archer

Ok they don't exist really but ......................

or as Irvine Welsh called them
The Sticky Buns
Ach wee Lewis, his irony bypass is working fine
Daft wee zombie

 

[DILLIGAF]

How the feck do they get from 7k to 14k

They'd be better getting a 21 gun salute, right into the Louden, or the House of Helium Hun
'Bears' FFS
"Ah'm a Bear !!!"
We had the Quality Street Kids
They have the Bash Street Kids

 

[DILLIGAF]

Transit company spokesperson: "The vertical transportation of passengers"
Eh, it's a lift mate...a fucking lift

 

[DILLIGAF]

 

[Jinky1962]

THIS, will never happen
Beau's too big for me to carry

View attachment 13055

That is mental what ever you do in the rest of your life love.Don't walk down my street I'd die laughing.

 

[Bellshill bhoy]

£7k to get the Red Arrows to fly over Glasgow, who’s up for a go fund me page

We are attempting to get a fly over across Glasgow date TBC but will need help from bears as it’s coming in at £14K to get it done proper. Stay tuned and share will need to rally round the troops to get our city Red White and Blue to celebrate

@BRIDGETON_L_RSC
Sh

https://twitter.com/x/status/1354915256628293638

Oh my days

I’ve ordered one of these aff Amazon in case the hun proposed red arrows fly past comes over Bellshill

 

[Smelltheg-love]

 

[Smelltheg-love]

A wife goes into the chippy to see her husband who works there
The boss says ‘he’s not here, I caught him with the potato peeler up his ass so I sacked him’
The wife says ‘oh my god whit a reddy, can I see the potato peeler?
The boss says ‘no cos I sacked him tae’

 

[Auldbertie]

A wife goes into the chippy to see her husband who works there
The boss says ‘he’s not here, I caught him with the potato peeler up his ass so I sacked him’
The wife says ‘oh my god whit a reddy, can I see the potato peeler?
The boss says ‘no cos I sacked him tae’

 

[Bridie Bhoy]

 

[Smelltheg-love]

 

[Smelltheg-love]

 

[According to Saul]

View attachment 13098I’ve ordered one of these aff Amazon in case the hun proposed red arrows fly past comes over Bellshill

We should start another whip round for more Ammo,BB

 

[According to Saul]

Doctor asks pregnant prostitute .”Do you know who the father is?”
Prostitute replies, “Oh! For goodness sakes, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart.?”

 

[According to Saul]

A Red Indian introduced me to his wife...
”This is Four Horses”.
I said,”Wow, that is a beautiful name,what does it mean?”.
He said,”F*ckin nag, nag, nag, nag....

 

[According to Saul]

He said...I don’t know why you wear a bra,you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said... you wear pants don’t you.

He said...shall we try swappping positions tonight?
She said...that’s a good idea- you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

He said...What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you.
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

He said...Why are married women heavier than single women.
She said... Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home,see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

 

[boab1916]

THE CLUB

Rangers liquidators rack up £5m fees as creditors offered 3p in the pound

We told last month how much creditors due a payment received after Glasgow-based BDO secured releases totalling £3.24million from assets.

www.dailyrecord.co.uk

The financial meltdown of the club in 2012 – with debts of £134million – sparked a string of legal actions.

By 2017, big legal firms had received payments of £9.2million for their work.

Whyte, 49, bought Rangers from Sir David Murray for £1 in 2011.

In 2017 he was cleared of taking over the club by fraud after a seven-week trial.

 

[Smelltheg-love]

 

[The Shamrock]

A friend of mine told me he always cries after sex. I told him it was his own fault he got sent to prison.