Mick's Stella(r) Self Isolation Diary.

In the interests of balance, it's only fair that all perspectives of this unfolding crisis are examined; therefore - I kindly requested that Billiam McBilliamson provide his reflections in diary form:

Night 1:

Goat up fay ma koffan an went up tay ra attik tay see ra korps o' ma maw. Likked her baws tay say hullo hullo ren went doon and ren went doon ra stayrz fur brekfast.

Brekfust wiz braw. Billhemina dug up a pritty fresh korps an we feestet on raw offal. Ah hud a but o' ra wee sossage hing atween ra legs, ah used tay like mammy's tay, but uh hud tay kue up wie muh da' fur a but o rat.

Ah ren went tay look oot ra windie tay git a glimpz o' ra big hoose, but ah goat ma tung stuk on a rusty nail an hud tay git billhemina tay choo mah tung aff ra nail.

Billhemina ren goat me ra paypurs, but as ah'm an illiterate fukwit, I jus lookt ut ra pitchers un yelt oot mah lungs aboot rem aw been tayg bastirts.

Went tay watch teevee, but rer mus be sumfin rang wie it koz ra pitcher jus keeps goin roon an roon an it looks a but like mah ranjurz taps.

Awbudy telt iz aboot selfy-iceolayshun, but rats aw shite kuz nay kunt cumz never iz oanywy on akkount o' ra ransid smell rat cumz fay mah bloatet gassyass kadaver oanywyze. Ah alwayz git a seet oan ra bus wee mah plus wun, but ratz no fur a karer, ratz only kuz o' mah morbud obeesitty an owerpowerin stensh.

Ah goat ra bus tay git mah Dee-ell-ay an ren went doon ra onyun bar fur a vat o' 20-20 (null an voyd) wee ra uthir barez. Ra barez wur sellabraytin gubbin ra sellick yistirday. Wee alfy wiz oan fire (ah telt hum to bee kareful wee rat petrul an ray matchiz) cuz ra barez on ranjurz raydeeo wur rer in seen ra gemme.

Rats us twinty pointz cleer o' ra taygz noo kuz ra Es eff ay sayz we git thurty pointz a win noo kuz o' wir gloryus history an kuz ray hate ra taygz anaw.

Noo sum kuntz tokkin aboot nullin an avoidin ra leeg. Git tay fuk ah sez, ra barez wooda konkerred aw ray diddy teemz an wun the yooropa leeg tay. Ren oor gloryus chayrmin sent oot a big bare tay tell ra es eff ay tay git tay fuk an rat ra leeg shood be vulva noyed ris seezon kuz ra taygz ur cheetin bastirts un weer brulleeant.

Oanywayz.........maw needz er hole ra night so ahm awaw tay kue fur shitey paypur tay stoap hur monin when she plants it up mah ers.

Roll on ra morra......luj nite on choozdayz so ah'll huv tay look oot mah nippull klamps un suspenders.

Hullo hullo un oot
 
michael duffy said:
DAY 1 (dae wan?)
Got up, wiltshire farmfood guy delivered 2 weeks grub, sorted
coffee n' fag,bbc, watched the news headlines,switched tae lbc,listened to James O' brian,invites people to call his show,then constantly interrupts them.diz the phuqer ever shut up!
Boot up laptop,check Celtic news now,ignore the clickbait sites and smsm,no much happenin jist the null and void, tainted titles,hun's spoutin "sportin integrity",
Laugh? ah nearly did!
then somethin about the huns hiring an uber hun as their p.r guru, has jabba got his jotters?
Check Forrest's blog,ignore the comments
Check Phil's blog,read the comments
Celtic quick news,no'much happenin
Check into "The Noise" read the sensible posts, that's 5 minutes of my life i'll never get back!
Read the mental threads,got the feelin kelly disnae like cat's,could jist be me though!
that killed a good 6 hours,somethin tae eat
6P.M, Angelus, and..........Stella time! 🍺
Radio snyde,the keevster said somethin sensible,cannae quite remember whit it wiz though!
Alex nosferatu rae said something about a racing analogy.............
Anyhoo, stock markets crashing, EU countries closing borders,GB,open border? WTF!
Panic buyin gathering speed, ma brother in law is buying a Jag! WTF!,suppose ye can get loads of bog rolls in the boot!
So day one/dae wan nearly complete,12 weeks or 4 months tae go
oh. and remember Bhoys and Ghirls be safe and may all your snotters be healthy snotter, time tae get pished noo!🍺
Click to expand...
So sorry to be part of that 5 mins. That's 1 I owe you. Oh, now that's 2.AAHH. 3....Night night
 
Spherical Planet said:
In the interests of balance, it's only fair that all perspectives of this unfolding crisis are examined; therefore - I kindly requested that Billiam McBilliamson provide his reflections in diary form:

Night 1:

Goat up fay ma koffan an went up tay ra attik tay see ra korps o' ma maw. Likked her baws tay say hullo hullo ren went doon and ren went doon ra stayrz fur brekfast.

Brekfust wiz braw. Billhemina dug up a pritty fresh korps an we feestet on raw offal. Ah hud a but o' ra wee sossage hing atween ra legs, ah used tay like mammy's tay, but uh hud tay kue up wie muh da' fur a but o rat.

Ah ren went tay look oot ra windie tay git a glimpz o' ra big hoose, but ah goat ma tung stuk on a rusty nail an hud tay git billhemina tay choo mah tung aff ra nail.

Billhemina ren goat me ra paypurs, but as ah'm an illiterate fukwit, I jus lookt ut ra pitchers un yelt oot mah lungs aboot rem aw been tayg bastirts.

Went tay watch teevee, but rer mus be sumfin rang wie it koz ra pitcher jus keeps goin roon an roon an it looks a but like mah ranjurz taps.

Awbudy telt iz aboot selfy-iceolayshun, but rats aw shite kuz nay kunt cumz never iz oanywy on akkount o' ra ransid smell rat cumz fay mah bloatet gassyass kadaver oanywyze. Ah alwayz git a seet oan ra bus wee mah plus wun, but ratz no fur a karer, ratz only kuz o' mah morbud obeesitty an owerpowerin stensh.

Ah goat ra bus tay git mah Dee-ell-ay an ren went doon ra onyun bar fur a vat o' 20-20 (null an voyd) wee ra uthir barez. Ra barez wur sellabraytin gubbin ra sellick yistirday. Wee alfy wiz oan fire (ah telt hum to bee kareful wee rat petrul an ray matchiz) cuz ra barez on ranjurz raydeeo wur rer in seen ra gemme.

Rats us twinty pointz cleer o' ra taygz noo kuz ra Es eff ay sayz we git thurty pointz a win noo kuz o' wir gloryus history an kuz ray hate ra taygz anaw.

Noo sum kuntz tokkin aboot nullin an avoidin ra leeg. Git tay fuk ah sez, ra barez wooda konkerred aw ray diddy teemz an wun the yooropa leeg tay. Ren oor gloryus chayrmin sent oot a big bare tay tell ra es eff ay tay git tay fuk an rat ra leeg shood be vulva noyed ris seezon kuz ra taygz ur cheetin bastirts un weer brulleeant.

Oanywayz.........maw needz er hole ra night so ahm awaw tay kue fur shitey paypur tay stoap hur monin when she plants it up mah ers.

Roll on ra morra......luj nite on choozdayz so ah'll huv tay look oot mah nippull klamps un suspenders.

Hullo hullo un oot
Click to expand...

Knew I was right to have serious concerns about you. :rolleyes:
 
Morning Michael the wife has just read this out thought you would enjoy it

The advice if you sneeze do it into your elbow people are buying toilet rolls bye the box which just goes to prove that they don't know thier arse from thier elbow......have a good day jim
 
Last edited:
michael duffy said:
DAY 1 (dae wan?)
Got up, wiltshire farmfood guy delivered 2 weeks grub, sorted
coffee n' fag,bbc, watched the news headlines,switched tae lbc,listened to James O' brian,invites people to call his show,then constantly interrupts them.diz the phuqer ever shut up!
Boot up laptop,check Celtic news now,ignore the clickbait sites and smsm,no much happenin jist the null and void, tainted titles,hun's spoutin "sportin integrity",
Laugh? ah nearly did!
then somethin about the huns hiring an uber hun as their p.r guru, has jabba got his jotters?
Check Forrest's blog,ignore the comments
Check Phil's blog,read the comments
Celtic quick news,no'much happenin
Check into "The Noise" read the sensible posts, that's 5 minutes of my life i'll never get back!
Read the mental threads,got the feelin kelly disnae like cat's,could jist be me though!
that killed a good 6 hours,somethin tae eat
6P.M, Angelus, and..........Stella time! 🍺
Radio snyde,the keevster said somethin sensible,cannae quite remember whit it wiz though!
Alex nosferatu rae said something about a racing analogy.............
Anyhoo, stock markets crashing, EU countries closing borders,GB,open border? WTF!
Panic buyin gathering speed, ma brother in law is buying a Jag! WTF!,suppose ye can get loads of bog rolls in the boot!
So day one/dae wan nearly complete,12 weeks or 4 months tae go
oh. and remember Bhoys and Ghirls be safe and may all your snotters be healthy snotter, time tae get pished noo!🍺
Click to expand...
Another day at the office😁🍺
 
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