I think in both our careers we see the absolute dregs of what society offers and the depths of depravity the mind can go to and then act upon, yet also the strength of the human spirit to overcome and even on some occasions forgive. That is the special bit, the rewarding part.
Just when you think you’ve experienced it all something lands on your desk or someone rings your phone and the boundaries are pushed further still.
As you say there are things that tear me apart- ‘stain your soul’- was a very good description but years of experience allow me to compartmentalise things. I have spaces to put things and I can balance it all, find ways to escape and in the main switch off when I have too. To date anyway.
I’m sure you’ve worked with colleagues as I have that it simply broke. Good people exposed to it all too often. I and I’m sure you will have come close too.
“We cannot offer redemption.
We cannot provide forgiveness”
That sums it up. Great words to choose. At the end of the day what needs to be, within the parameters we are set must to be done by someone and in the main I get fulfilment from it and I can still look myself in the mirror.
The people we want to help far outstrip those we have to help and they deal with so much worse than my moral gymnastics. I get closer and closer to a career change every day. I’ve done this for 15 years, I won’t have another 15 in me and then I’m hooked back in.
I have a clichéd response to those on my case list and those I work with and I say it to myself several times a week. One foot in front of the other. That’s what survivors do every day. If they can do that I’ll clock in every day and help the best I can, whatever shit the law tells me I have to do on top, it’s a price worth paying.
HH-SP. Keep the faith. Keep believing.
In the dark days, the one constant was, is, and will always be Celtic.
I've often pondered "The Cause" and what that cause actually is.
I once thought it to be a reference to our cultural roots, but it is a lot more complex and textured than that.
I sincerely believe that "The Cause" is something more than words can describe. It is something which sets us apart from others, but brings all of us together at the same time. It may not seem to be directly related to the topic of discussion; however - it gives me a sense of hope that everything is going to be alright and Celtic have become my safe space.
I remain relatively philosophical and upbeat by nature, but I would be a liar not to admit that I have almost reached my breaking point on several occasions. As you very astutely point out, I have seen good folk broken into bits by the work we have undertaken and it's no secret that our friend in Donegal was haunted by the evil that men and women do.
I content myself with the knowledge that there are good folk like yourself who keep getting into the ring for one more round; however - I would be more than happy for you to pursue a career in writing. Not only on all things Celtic, but also in highlighting the social taboos and stigmas that constantly surround us.
For as long as I know that there are folk like yourself fighting the good fight, then I'll always keep believing that things can be better. I like a wee punt, Niall, and I tend to play the numbers game when marking my coupon. I still believe that the numbers are in favour of the good, but I am also aware that the odds can be overturned if complacency kicks in.
I know we'd rather be discussing more positive aspects of life, but it is our willingness to face the the tough topics that will hopefully see us all prevail.