Credit where it's due

Espiritosanto said:
Ma auld man used to say dundonians were unconscious comedians,,he worked up in Dundee and surrounding city’s way wm press doing gas conversions in the late seventies,when he was drunk which was every weekend he would talk like a dundonian😂😂😂😂fae the east end a glesga,,,crackpot...
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Parties the family had the auld folk would sing 'Show me the road and the miles tae Dundee' with a we tear in their eyes. Not a single one of them had ever stepped foot in the place. :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:
 
Spherical Planet said:
Hahahaha we had a fella we called Jakey Jock who used to walk efter you for miles. Mad bastart never so much as broke into a trot, but he was fuckin relentless.

He made Michael Myers look like Usain Bolt, but he would walk efter ye for miles and miles and hours and hours.

Same as your boy there though - all was forgiven the next day until the cycle repeated itself at night.
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Sounds a bit like the cunt out of Texas chainsaw massacre
That film always annoyed me
110llb flassie runs away screaming (constantly at the top of the spectrum)
Screwball carrying a 50lb chainsaw, broken leg walking at 1mph

still she runs and scream but like most women has nae fucking coordination and seems to fall every 5 steps like my drunk guy

screwball plods on relentlessly
She screams relentlessly
She falls relentlessly

Screwball catches up
Chops her up

I’m like, you know women Canni do two things at a time. Just shut the fuck up with the screaming and casually jog and you’ll be home for supper

🏑 incoming
 
Smelltheg-love said:
Sounds a bit like the cunt out of Texas chainsaw massacre
That film always annoyed me
110llb flassie runs away screaming (constantly at the top of the spectrum)
Screwball carrying a 50lb chainsaw, broken leg walking at 1mph

still she runs and scream but like most women has nae fucking coordination and seems to fall every 5 steps like my drunk guy

screwball plods on relentlessly
She screams relentlessly
She falls relentlessly

Screwball catches up
Chops her up

I’m like, you know women Canni do two things at a time. Just two shut the fuck up with the screaming and casually jog and you’ll be home for supper

🏑 incoming
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And they always run in a straight line as well.
 
Espiritosanto said:
Also said he played fit baw at Arbroath when he was a laddie it was that cold his nipples were like a spitfire pilots thumbs😂😂😂
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Arbroath is like the Monte Carlo o' the North-East except for the 90mph winds and stench of smoked fish.

It's deceptive there, Holy Ghost..........it could be a beautiful sunny day and you're no aware you've got frostbite until your fingers snap off.

Then again, that might just be the leprosy
 
Smelltheg-love said:
Sounds a bit like the cunt out of Texas chainsaw massacre
That film always annoyed me
110llb flassie runs away screaming (constantly at the top of the spectrum)
Screwball carrying a 50lb chainsaw, broken leg walking at 1mph

still she runs and scream but like most women has nae fucking coordination and seems to fall every 5 steps like my drunk guy

screwball plods on relentlessly
She screams relentlessly
She falls relentlessly

Screwball catches up
Chops her up

I’m like, you know women Canni do two things at a time. Just shut the fuck up with the screaming and casually jog and you’ll be home for supper

🏑 incoming
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Strange that you mention that movie, mate, as since my metamorphosis into a hun this morning - I've taken to wearing the flayed skin of my first victim in the form of a mask.

Poor lad was an Arab and as they're our next opponent and were single-handedly responsible for our unlawful demotion when we were definitely no liquidated, I just had an overwhelming urge to stab the buggery oot the boy and eat his flesh.

As fir the wummin and the multi-tasking? Think you're being a bit harsh, stg.......my ex could simultaneously punch, kick and gouge my eyes all at the same time.
 
That reminded me of being at a party, just after I arrived here
Party was in full swing, Canadians, Irish, Scottish, and everyone was having a great time
One snooty woman comes up, and seeming to look down her nose, she says "So, you're from Scotland, where abouts...Glasgow ?"
"Aye, near enough"
Her: I was in Glasgow once...it rained..!!."
"Aye, well it's Glesga, naw the Bahamas"
She fucked off, and annoyed someone else
My mate was in a band called the Stoatirs, they played a lot of pubs around the area, great folk/Celtic band
An American guy, pissed, comes up and asks for them to play "One of them Scottish ballads..."
As they begin to play, he is well pissed, emotional, and brings up the fact that he has Scottish heritage...he's in tears...he thinks it's about Loch Lomond, or some other very Scottish place...
They sang:
"Oh Ho Keechbum Toleyfart
Aw went up the public park
Keechbum, he couldnae swim
Toleyfart, he pushed him in..."
The guy even joined in for the second verse, which was exactly the same as the first verse
🤣
 
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Spherical Planet said:
Strange that you mention that movie, mate, as since my metamorphosis into a hun this morning - I've taken to wearing the flayed skin of my first victim in the form of a mask.

Poor lad was an Arab and as they're our next opponent and were single-handedly responsible for our unlawful demotion when we were definitely no liquidated, I just had an overwhelming urge to stab the buggery oot the boy and eat his flesh.

As fir the wummin and the multi-tasking? Think you're being a bit harsh, stg.......my ex could simultaneously punch, kick and gouge my eyes all at the same time.
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Right enough my ex could get her hands in all four of my Jean pockets at the same time
Was never the zip pocket her hands were going in right enough
 
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