Jokes

Paddy McCourt was warming up to come on as a sub and Lenny noticed one of his laces was untied.
"your lace is open Paddy" said Lenny.
"sposed to be like that hi" says Paddy
"what do you mean you mad hoor?"
"look, sure it says here on the sole of the boot; Tai wan sur"
 
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A rabbi and a catholic priest are traveling to a religious convention and are sitting next to each other in the train carriage.
They get talking about their faiths and the various restrictions. The rabbi speaks about not eating pork and the priest about not having sex.
Eventually the rabbi says.... you know I must confess that I have once eaten bacon.......
The priest confessed that he has once had sex....
The rabbi whispers to the priest..... it’s better than bacon isn’t it......
 
A rabbi and a catholic priest are traveling to a religious convention and are sitting next to each other in the train carriage.
They get talking about their faiths and the various restrictions. The rabbi speaks about not eating pork and the priest about not having sex.
Eventually the rabbi says.... you know I must confess that I have once eaten bacon.......
The priest confessed that he has once had sex....
The rabbi whispers to the priest..... it’s better than bacon isn’t it......


Ahem... ???
 
A big city doctor visits an Native American tribe full of men and he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?”
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not knowing what to do stands cluelessly until a tribesman explains to him: " Use the donkey".
The doctor: " what?"
"Yes use it, mount it"
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc? We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
 
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