the Immaculate Deception serialised on The Noise

Not apparently mine. Seduction 101 in a matter of seconds. Well it’s of course not a first year undergraduate 101 lesson, that’s a lot more like a seduction at Ph.D. level.”

“Incredible. So, calculated and planned a seduction performance to the tiniest degree like a professional acting class. I wonder how long it took you to perfect that performance with women.”

“Show me a woman Penny, any woman, especially one with fragile self-esteem and self-doubt in her attractiveness who doesn't want to be admired and adored by a fairly decent on the eye, intelligent, humorous, and slightly dangerous and I can assure you well-hung catch of a man.”

“Fair point, I suppose. I realise I could give you a nickname also Charlie, you probably may well have heard this one before I bet though. I reckon you should have the nickname Figjam.”

“I do know that one Penny… it’s an acronym for Fuck I’m Good Just Ask Me. That’s a good nickname to have. Thanks Penny.”

“It’s supposed to be an ironic one! I give up Charlie. Now, to change the subject far away from your infamous seduction trickery skills. How are things with you generally?”

“Oh well you might want to know Penny that I’ve sacked my lawyer. He was a lazy sod.”

“I’m not surprised to hear that. Belinda, as I’m sure you probably know, has been arrested and charged with the murder of Billy and she is in custody awaiting trial. Anna is looking after her mum as usual but as you can imagine it’s now quite confusing for the poor mother now having her other daughter in prison having horribly duped her sister. Belinda quite bizarrely still loudly maintains her complete innocence despite all the stack of evidence piled up against her, but she looks a cast iron certainty to be convicted.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure that you, almost certainly, will ensure that. You'll be the star expert witness for the prosecution. You're eloquent and of course you'll be quietly seething, but in the dock I’m sure you’ll seem controlled and appear to be quite reasonable. You’ll be able to convince any jury beyond reasonable doubt Belinda is the epitome of evil. Once you give your damming testimony explaining her trying to pin the blame on you and appalling deceive her own sister, I assume every woman on the jury will want to absolutely crucify her.”

“I do so love having an audience for my oratory. I’ll need to practice some great apparently impromptu clever lines and give the prosecution the intros to let me devastatingly ‘spontaneously’ deliver them.”

“You’ll have everyone on the jury eating out of your hand.”

“Sod the jury wanting to crucify her”, replied Charlie “I will fucking crucify her!”

“I’d love to be in court to hear you in full flow in the witness box. You’re quite a character Charlie. Funny too. It should be pure theatre when you’re in the witness box. I’ll try to make it along to the High Court for your testimony if I possibly can. The prosecution now has clear means, motive and opportunity. It’s a certain conviction for murder for Belinda.”
 
“I have to stand there and stick the knife right in, if that's not too close to the bone, …or the heart in this case. I’ll also have to visit her in prison and bring her some home-made biscuits laced not with chocolate chip I know is her favourite but loaded with dog shit. Penny, would you fancy another splash of this fabulous whisky?“

“Sure, why not. I’m not driving tonight.”

Charlie poured another generous half tumbler refill for them both and pondered aloud, “Well despite all that I must say I hope after the inevitable guilty verdict Belinda is given a......... suspended sentence.”

Penny was a bit stunned by this remark and choked on her drink. “What? I don't understand. That's an incredibly generous and unexpected statement from you Charlie. She tried to frame you. To put you in prison for many years. Oops, there’s that word try again. She did fail. She tried and failed. Lucky for you. Where on earth did that hope of incredible clemency for her come from within you? You’ve surprised me yet again Charlie.”

“Oh no, you totally misunderstand me again Penny. When I say I hope she gets a suspended sentence, and by the way I do mean.... suspended ……I mean suspended ………...from a short rope".

Penny groaned, “I should have realized it would be another wisecrack. Have you ever thought of being a stand-up comedian if you ever give up on this job?”

“I’d only consider it if I had a glamourous assistant like you as a double act.”





Arohata Prison Cell Block

Belinda was confused and distraught as she paced back and forwards angrily berating her intimidated lawyer who could barely manage to get a word in. “I can’t believe this. It’s ridiculous me being here. The police are claiming they have absolute proof I arranged for Anna to kill Billy. How is that even possible? I’m completely innocent. I never had anything to do with that message on her phone. How can they possibly say they're able to prove I made the message beyond reasonable doubt when it never happened? It must have been that bastard Charlie who did this. Bizarre. You say to me my case is hopeless. Pre-meditated murder. Absolute Bullshit. I've absolutely no idea how that message got on Anna’s phone or onto my laptop. I found her phone by total accident. It was a fluke. That’s the only reason I’m here. That bloody phone. I’ve never had audio editing software on my laptop. Never even heard of such a thing. Someone put it there. I've been expertly framed by someone. This must be Charlie’s doing. The bastard. The slimy, conniving, cunning bastard. How did he make that message? He was the only one who knew the secret sexual meaning of the word Rosebud. It must have been him. It could only have been him. He made that recording and played it over a phone. That’s why his speech was not slurred. The bastard has killed off his bookmaker and got off his debt and now pinned the blame for Billy’s death on me. They say I took advantage of Anna’s high hypnotisability. The police have found out Billy and I were shagging and he abandoned me that last night when he chose Anna over me. Fuck, they’ve even got two of my neighbours to testify they heard me yelling and screaming that night and me shouting from the door as he scurried away back to her, "I’ll kill you, you fucking bastard. How dare you fucking choose her! She’s fucking ugly and she’s fat and a useless fuck. How can you possibly prefer her? I’ll fucking kill you. I mean it.” I didn’t mean it literally, of course not. I was so bloody angry with him at that moment. A few weeks later he ends up with a knife in his chest! Well I’m the one that’s now fucked.”

Her lawyer managed to get a word in. “It’s a hard case for me to defend Mrs. Lambert. All the evidence they have shown me points to it being you. The prosecutor is not interested in any sort of a plea deal, no matter what I say.”

“You said to me earlier my outburst at Billy was the final nail in the coffin of my defence. You reckon I could get 10-15 years or even more for his murder. Well I can tell you … I didn’t bloody do it. I know nothing about this. I’ve been framed.”

Belinda turned and yelled out the nearby window to the world outside to whoever in the universe might care to listen to her, “I'm bloody innocent! You bastard Charlie! You’ve framed me. You absolute bastard!"

Penny’s office

“You certainly must be a relieved man, Charlie.”

“I’m over the moon to be free. I’m ecstatic. I’d been framed and knew the police would fall for the voicemail trick at face value.”

“You have your life back again. You are an innocent man.”

“Don’t I know it? And it’s all down to you, Penny. You pulled strings with the police to uncover the truth regarding who made the voicemail message. I can’t begin to thank you enough.”

“The police would have arranged the forensic analysis of the voicemail anyway I’m sure. I had little if any impact on that decision. The Laphroaig you brought is certainly thanks enough. Speaking of which we’ve now finished two large measures but since you bought it do you want me to pour you and I do mean only you, another one ……for the road, mind you?”

Charlie hesitated as he considered his two alternatives. Have a third large whisky now or choose to decline it. Firstly, he didn’t want Penny to think he was a heavy drinker. Being a heavy drinker as a bloke he knew could be a real turnoff and a deal breaker for many women. No point inadvertently blotting his copybook with her in that way if there was an alternative. Could she even be testing him by offering him another drink. If so, how could he pass her test? Even though he could have enjoyed having yet another drink of that delicious whisky and spending some more time talking with such a gorgeous woman Charlie decided it was probably on balance a far better strategy to judiciously and deliberately turn the offer of another drink down at this stage. “No Penny, to be honest…… They were quite large measures I poured for us. I‘ve had plenty. I think if I had a third one, I probably would have felt it.”
 
“Me too I know. You're absolutely right Charlie.”

Penny stared into Charlie’s eyes and once again sensuously purred at him. The alcohol she had rapidly consumed was by now affecting her aloofness and judgement. “I know what you mean Charlie. I think if I, ……had a third one..........I probably…... would have let you feel it.”

Charlie was stunned and amazed by this incredibly unexpected saucy and witty comment from Penny, “Cor, You’re a tease Penny. A gorgeous, gorgeous cock tease with a great brain and a fabulous and quick sense of wit and even a whisky lover. The absolute perfect combination of a woman. I wonder if you realise how incredibly sexually arousing this is for me. Each time I see you, and shit even from the first moment I saw you, you seem more and more to me like the type of woman I’ve always dreamed of meeting. I must confess I’m falling for you Penny. Can we see if……”

“Charlie, please don’t get your hopes up over me. I hate to break it to you Charlie, but I don’t believe you’re my type at all. Come on now Charlie, calm down, I was playing with you there. Toying with you. After all you can give it out with ease. It’s only a bit of harmless banter. Not meant to be serious. Surely you can take it in return. A sort of flirty game of tennis. 15 – Love to me. Believe me Charlie no matter how hard you try to woo me I am one adversity I can assure you you will certainly never master.”

Charlie looked contemplative, his shoulders sagged, and he sighed. He looked across at Penny with sad puppy dog eyes. She could see how his eyes moistened and glistened and he looked close to tears. More than close. He looked far more than disappointed, he looked for all the world like a beaten man. All his chirpy bravado and bluster was now gone.

“Penny,” Charlie sniffed away a tear, “Thanks for your total honesty there. Brutal words indeed from you but I needed to hear them. No woman has ever said anything like that to me before. I now appreciate how it feels to be teased. You’re the first woman to ever sexually tease me. Seriously, the first woman ever to do that. I now realise you were toying with me in the same way I always do with women. It’s flirting of course as you said. You don’t mean for a moment you would let me feel it. The it being your pussy of course. It’s only a game to you. You echoed back my words like you were returning serve. Like a game of tennis as you said. Your cheeky teasing flirting words to me have made me realise something, something for the first time.”

Charlie paused, “Something of which…. I’m not proud at all……… Something of which…… I’m quite ashamed.” Charlie sniffed again. He now looked so vulnerable. No longer confident and self-assured. He was totally crestfallen. Penny could sense Charlie was teetering on the verge of some possible momentous personal disclosure to her. Would he be able to put his trust in her enough to divulge it to her she wondered? Charlie hesitated and looked across to Penny as if for some guidance if it was safe to proceed with this disclosure. Penny nodded a fraction as a signal for him to continue if he wished. She was curious as to what he might say.

Charlie swallowed uncomfortably, “You’ve made me realise what an absolute idiot I’ve been. All my life since I passed puberty I’ve been constantly chasing after women. As I now think carefully, to be more accurate I’ve been constantly chasing their pussy. I’ve loved the chase of their pussy. It doesn’t matter too much how attractive a woman is, within reason of course. I do have some standards after all. She only has to have a warm pussy. I’ve always thought till now she was the chase. Well, I now realise her pussy was the chase. The chase is whether I can get her into a bed and her allow me to fuck her brains out. Will she consent? Will she surrender her pussy to me to be fucked? Will she desire to fondly cradle my cock? Will she want to suck me off? Will she want to let me come in her mouth? Does she crave my dick thrusting inside her? Getting her to go from a simple hello to into my arms in my bed in the shortest possible time is the greatest adversity I feel I must master in life. That’s what gives me my fairly high self-esteem. My success in bedding them. But I now realise it’s so fucking shallow. So transient. So fucking meaningless. Instead my efforts should be forging and sustaining a loving sharing long-lasting faithful relationship with her.”
 
Charlie looked up and stopped. “Sorry Penny is this stuff way too much for me to unload and for you to hear from me? I hardly know you for goodness sake, but I have this strong gut feeling, and I always tend to follow my gut feelings that I can totally trust you to hear this and believe you won’t use this appalling confession against me.”

“No, not at all, go on,” replied Penny who was surprised she was secretly a bit aroused by his crude words and frank honesty with her. “I’m a big girl Charlie. I can take it. It’s good for you to let it out. Keep going if you want to, I’m listening. I’ll certainly never use anything you tell me against you. I swear. You can tell me more if you want.”

Charlie looked at Penny as if judging whether he could trust her to possibly divulge even more. He took a deep breath and ploughed ahead, “Penny I don’t know if you’ve ever played in a high stakes poker game but if you have well, you’ll know there comes a time every now and again when you have to decide whether you want to go all in or choose to fold your cards. You know, go all or nothing.”

Charlie hesitated briefly.

“OK Penny, well for better or worse, now is that time, and I’ve decided for once in my life, I’m going all in. You asked for it. I’m going to lay down my entire hand to someone and go all in. I can sense I can trust you now you’ve told me you’re not interested in me at all. I don’t have to try to impress you. I don’t have to keep trying with you anymore. You’ve made your position towards me quite clear. I’m not your type of guy. I get that absolutely and I understand and can sadly respect that. For goodness sake, I’ve told you I’ve left behind a trail of used and discarded pussies. A bit like a trail of living and used warm condoms. A warm receptacle for my seed. I’ve confessed to you I’ve sown my wild oats and luckily and surprisingly there’s never ever been a crop harvest. There are apparently no little Lambert bastards running around looking around for a father as far as I know. Thank goodness for women having effective contraception nowadays. But what’s the point of it all? What have I managed to achieve with my life so far? A failed and fairly brief marriage to a stunningly beautiful woman to whom I should have been faithful and none of this awfulness would ever have happened. A couple of hundred notches on my bedpost over 20 years of circling the sun. But tonight, at the grand age of 35 I will once again sleep alone in my house. No one to snuggle up to …and hug. ……. to hold on to. Why am I fucking… on this planet? To score yet another hundred notches. Seriously? What’s the big prize for fucking on this planet? You can’t keep an orgasm locked in a trophy cabinet? There’s no gold medal for that. There’s no jazz for my jizz. Coming, inside her, doesn’t make me more of a man. I now realise for the first ever time, it makes me less of a man, a walking, talking, fucking penis using her pussy as a surrogate for lonely masturbation………I love the chase and the proof she wants me to shag her. After the chase is successful the actual sex can become a bit boring. I have to constantly remember to give her enough pleasure as well. The requisite number of minutes expertly licking her to orgasms. Caressing all her erogenous zones, especially the ones she never knew before. Make her believe I regard her as special. There’s only a limited number of physical positions humanly possible after all. Every woman only ever has three standard orifices for my dick and a cleavage to enfold it. I’m never going to stick it in her ears or belly button. I need…I need Penny to settle down and grow up and find myself a good woman …….and let her know my stupid hound dog fucking days are now over. Finito! That I want to start afresh and be a different man. That she can always trust me and rely on me. That I will be there…. for her… and only ever for her and for her alone.”

Charlie came close to tears as he delivered that last line. “You’ve told me straight up I’m not your type. That you were teasing me. I need to respect that. I need to respect you. I do.
 
Can you ever possibly forgive me Penny for unloading all that self-loathing and shame on you. I’m not looking for your sympathy at all Penny. I know where I can find sympathy ……I know I can find sympathy in the dictionary; you’ll find it’s in between shit and syphilis.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” replied Penny “There’s absolutely nothing I need to forgive you for Charlie. Thanks for sharing that confession with me. It was honest of you. I can see you’ve had a great insight and seen the huge error of your pussy hunting ways. You’ve had a sort of epiphany of purpose of life if you will. It could be the biggest turning point of your life. I feel a bit honoured to have earned your trust to divulge this to me. Women, I can tell you if you need to be told, need a man to be trustworthy above all else. That’s the single most important thing for a woman. She wants a man to be who he says he is. No deception. No pretence. Total honesty. Don’t worry. You’ll find someone someday; I sense you’re a fairly decent guy despite your past shockingly self-centred selfish behaviour. You’ve been heading up a delusional time-wasting cul-de-sac of pointlessness chasing casual sex. You’re sadly not the only guy in Wellington to think like that. I can tell you I’ve certainly met quite a few fuckwits in town who’ve tried it on with me for years. They don’t want a relationship or love they want to have casual sex with me.”

Charlie sniffed. “The thing is Penny I know in my heart and head what a woman needs from a man. I read it in a great American book I read last year. It was called The Man’s Guide to Women. Charlie turned his head a fraction to Penny and stared into her eyes. There’s an acronym written there every man ought to learn and understand as a teenage boy, ATTUNE. Firstly, I need to attend to her. Not attend to my phone or to my laptop but only and exclusively to her. To give her my full and undivided attention. That’s the A for attend. There’s the TT. That stands for the fact I need to Turn Towards her like this. Charlie turned a fraction and faced Penny squarely. Not sideways. Face to face. So she can see clearly me and I can see her. That’s important. To look into her eyes as I am doing with you now. Next comes the U in that I need to seek to Understand her. Not to give her solutions or answers like most men tend to stupidly feel the need to do but to listen to her and ask her questions concerning her feelings to seek to understand how she feels. I need to keep seeking to understand how she feels. The next step is the N which stands for Non-defensively listen, not giving her any excuses, not yeah buts, no justifications or rationalisations or pushbacks. I know I need to listen and accept whatever she says to me completely and lastly comes the E that stands for Empathise. I must be there for her. I must be gentle. I must care. You might call that the mechanics of love I suppose. You put it all together and it spells out A-TT-U-N-E. Attune. That’s what I know I will do for the rest of my life when I eventually find the right woman to settle down with and be my one true and faithful love one day.”
 
Penny realised with some rising astonishment Charlie’s last few words were evoking an unusual experience within her. Her heart rate had raised, and her nostrils were flaring. She felt a strange warm flush in the nape of her neck. She realised she felt aroused. That feeling of rising sexual arousal astonished Penny. ‘How could this possibly be? Charlie was not at all like the sort of person that had ever caused her to be aroused and moist before. Most certainly not her type at all.’

Charlie nodded and whimpered, “Thanks for listening to me Penny. I needed to say that. To get it all out. To be understood particularly by a woman I completely respect. To confess my awful ways of the past. I feel shattered. I’m drained and exhausted by that. Can I possibly have a hug? A long one. I feel right now I need a supportive hug.”

“Of course I can give you a hug” and instinctively came forward and hugged him. Charlie leaned his head with a deep sigh on her right shoulder and to her surprise showed his emotional side and to quietly sob. His chest shuddered from time to time as his tears freely flowed. He clung on to her for emotional support. Penny realized he was now emotionally vulnerable having openly exposed his declared flaws and frailty. His ‘big boys don’t cry’ dam of welled-up masculine emotions had broken and breached. Penny held him tightly embraced in both her arms to comfort him as he was obviously drained and still sobbing after his fulsome confession. He was a remorseful and ashamed man and they locked in the long and supportive hug of mutual support. The hug was indeed long and sustained. Penny started patting his back gently to give him some reassurance using her left hand and she found she was glad to be able to be supportive and empathetic to him. Charlie in return, started stroking down the back of her hair with his right hand which she found herself enjoying and soothing. This surprised her. Penny was happy to be able to support him like this till it dawned on her Charlie’s left hand had lifted up her skirt and was now tenderly and lightly cradling her right buttock and had been doing so for at least a few seconds. She broke from the hug pushing Charlie away with a flash of raging hot anger and a sense of betrayal.
 
“Whew!” cried Penny, “What superb acting. I fucking fell for it. You’re fucking still chasing pussy. You’re chasing my pussy. That was another variation of the fucking pussy chase. You found my one fucking weakness. I never even knew I had one. You played on my fucking compassion. You blew it though. You had me wanting, no, needing to hug you and support you. I genuinely felt fucking sorry for you. I did. You seemed so vulnerable and needy and fragile. You seemed so honest and ashamed. You sussed me out. You told me you fucking trusted and respected me. You played to my ego. You had me join in tears with you. I could see how apparently remorseful you were. My God when I think about it, if you had slowed down and not rushed it, turned your head round a fraction and gently pressed your lips tenderly against my neck or even blown some hot breath on my neck. Well I don’t know if at that point if even I could have resisted you. With a tiny indirect gesture like that the infamous Armani Ice Queen would probably have melted. I cannot believe despite all I know about you and your seduction tricks that in a few minutes of confession you brought me unbelievably almost offering you to rest your weary warm dick in my cunt and allow me the chance to tenderly care for it as slowly it moved in and out of me. I can’t believe it. Seriously. You were brilliant in that role of the insightful and sorrowful and remorseful man. I believed you. I did. I fell for it completely. You convinced me you were now a reformed man needing the tender care of a good woman, one like me. You set me up. No man has ever been able to make me feel that way before. I never imagined for a moment I could even ever feel that way. You physically aroused me. Must be the Laphroig. You even disclosed all your old seduction tricks to take me into your confidence. You told me you trusted me. I bought into that. It was like you laid down all your weapons to make me believe you were now safe and no longer dangerous. You made me believe you thought I was what you call a Nobody. Not an insult but meaning you thought I was in fact perfect. It was appealing to my ego. I told you it was cheesy but secretly I actually liked it. I was played by you. You were convincing in that role right up till the moment I felt your hand resting up against my fucking arse cheek. You rushed it at the last moment with your over eagerness and you totally blew it at that moment. Wow! You were so unbelievably fucking close to deceiving me. That was almost, yeah it was almost the perfect seduction of me masterclass. You know in a way I feel sort of honoured and privileged to have witnessed that incredible acting performance. I still can’t believe it was all totally fake. That I fell for it. That you totally played me. You should be a professional actor, seriously. That was theatrical genius Charlie. That would have won an Oscar.”
 
Penny looked across at Charlie and as she looked at him, another insight flashed though her mind.

“I’ve realised something else. Something even worse. I’ve been assuming for the last few moments Charlie because you told me my toying with you with a cheeky sexual flirty tease was the trigger for your transformational insight. I assumed I was the witness to the first ever confession of your testosterone fuelled pussy fucking ways tricks and to your newly found desire for redemption but……. I now suspect my cheeky jest with you was probably a welcome trigger from me for you to be able to seamlessly slip into playing that acting part. To slip into that bad boy turned good by the saving and redemption power of the love and compassion of a good woman role. I now guess however like your other tricks there’s a strong possibility I’m probably not the first woman you’ve used that sort of sorrowful confessional routine on…… am I, Charlie Lambert?”

Charlie was no longer sobbing. He had switched off his tears like turning off a tap. He looked sheepish as he looked at Penny having been found out and he shrugged his shoulders and slightly nodded agreement to her.

Penny in return raised both her hands and gave him a few slow claps of mock praise. “Wow. Bravo. Tell me. How many women have fallen for that sort of a fake seduction routine?”

Charlie briefly hesitated but again shrugged and having been totally found out by Penny he let go his façade and sheepishly admitted the truth, “You really want to know Penny. You deserve to know. Well they all did……. You’re my first ever failure.”

“Astonishing. How many…. No. Don’t bother Charlie. I don’t need or want to know that information. I am impressed though. I’ve never been played before by anyone like that. I never believed for a moment I could possibly be played. I’ve learned something today. You told me a while back you were a terrible liar and it was easy to tell if you were telling a lie. Well it now transpires that you were obviously lying then. You played the part of the bad boy turned good boy to a tee. I totally fell for it. You should be on the stage, I mean it. You are an actor, an incredibly great actor.”

“Any chance?” said Charlie with a cheeky mischievous grin of eternal hope.

Penny smiled with a hint of chagrin and shook her head. “Sorry! You never give up do you? You blew it Charlie. Close, you were oh so close. I seriously cannot believe how close you came with me…… of all people. Un fucking believable. But no second chance ever for you Charlie, nup, oh so close…but you’ll never get this cigar or this pussy. There will be no rosebud from me for you ever. That’s a complete never.”

Charlie reluctantly had to admit his defeat and accept Penny had no intention of ever giving in to him. He sighed knowing the hunt with her was well and truly over. He had to move on. He had lost. His cards had been well and truly played and he had indeed gone all in, but his cards were not good enough to win the pot or indeed the pussy. Penny had lain down her own Full House and he had now lost all his chips and if he wanted to carry on playing, he would have to play with himself or find another card game.

“Well, all I can say Penny, said disconsolate Charlie “is whoever does get you one day will indeed be a lucky guy.”
 
At that moment there was a loud knock on the door. “Come in.” said Penny.

Jess popped her head around the door. “Hi Penny, Sorry to disturb you two. Mrs. Anna Murdoch is here to see you Penny. Oh, and can I go home now, or do you still want me to stay behind till you guys finish?” “Give us a moment here, Jess, and yes, of course you can go home now…… my goodness it's after five. Pack up your things and send in Mrs. Murdoch in a few moments.” She glanced over at Charlie, “Dr Lambert is leaving. Aren’t you?” Charlie sadly took the blunt hint for him to depart.

Penny generously held out her right hand to him “All the best, Charlie. In whatever career you choose to follow this. Medical or acting.”

Charlie took Penny’s generously offered hand and leaned over and of course as she almost predictably expected slowly turned her hand over, leaned forward and lightly kissed the back of her proffered hand. As he came up, he sighed, “Ah well fair gorgeous lady you’ll probably never get the chance to know what you’ve missed with me. Adieu! My loss. I could have shown you a good time if you'd only let me. Ah well, enjoy the rest of the whisky. You certainly deserve it. Savour it, you've earned the Laphroaig. Thanks again for everything you've done for me Penny.”

And with that last fond farewell Charlie left. Never to be seen again. Penny could faintly hear him in the outer office exchanging a few friendly words of greeting with Anna, his ex-sister-in-law with the same recent unusual, shared experience of wrongly being imprisoned for the same crime, before leaving at the same time as Jess. Penny wondered if Charlie would casually invite young Jess to go for ‘a coffee, I’ve no biscuits’ at his place. She might even take a shine to an older man. She was after all fresh meat for him and she was reasonably pretty on the eye and she was wearing a short skirt and had a pulse and presumably a warm and fillable pussy. Apparently, his type of woman for some casual sex.

Anna soon appeared around Penny’s door and she was smiling and quite bubbly. “Jess and Charlie are both gone now. Left the building. I wondered Penny if you fancied having a celebratory drink or two with me.”

“Probably best not Anna. I’ve downed a couple of large celebratory measures of whisky with Charlie Lambert.”

“What did Charlie want with you?”

“Apart from my body as always, and boy did he try for it a few minutes ago, and of course he failed. You know he’s a sex addict. But no way with me. He came in to drop off a case of Scotch single malt he had previously promised me as thanks for my assistance in arranging the forensic analysis and getting him released.”

“Did he get you your favourite one, what's it called again?”

“Yep, he got me a case of Laphroaig, the best whisky from Islay.”

“He must feel relieved.”

“He is indeed.”

“You saved his bacon.”

“I did Anna. And I also saved his arse. In fact, when I think of it, I literally did that.”
 
Anna beamed with sheer delight and they embraced in a hug, “You're incredible. Quite incredible, Penny.”

Penny’s face broke into a warm and loving tender smile and she gazed into Anna’s eyes.

“It’s over my love. It’s over. We’ve done it. I promised you we could do it.”

“You did, I can still hardly believe we managed to get away with it. Your amazing plan totally worked out.”

“We had some luck, thank God Belinda found your phone, that was driving me up the wall since I couldn’t think of a way to have it found, but of course not by either of us. I knew the phone would have to turn up eventually, but I honestly never expected you be in prison for so long. I’m also sorry Peter broke his hip, I wanted to take over your case and sabotaging his bike was the only way I could think of to get him off the case and to be able to speak to you in the prison and reassure you.”

“Yeah, that was scary being in prison. I didn’t have to act that. You told me the police would find my phone straight away and hear the message. I never expected to be in there at all. That was a nightmare.”

“I too couldn’t believe the police never found it immediately. Lodging behind the bedside cabinet like that was a ridiculous fluke. The police should still have found it though. But in the end, we fooled them all. Charlie absolutely blames Belinda because he thinks she tried to frame him, and she absolutely blames Charlie because she knows he must have framed her and not us. I’ve convinced both of them I clearly thought it was the other one. They don’t for a moment suspect me or you at all. The police now have a believable case which makes some logical sense and they have someone to go to jail to pay for Billy’s death. The media clamour is over. Case closed.”

“It was our......... Immaculate Deception.”

Penny was extremely cautious, “And it must stay that way forever. A fabulous deception. It must. I’ve told you so many times. No one must ever have any reason to ever suspect us. You must keep up your fabulous acting. You were so amazing when I met you in prison that first time with Jess. If that had been a movie you would surely have won an Oscar. Jess would swear blind our meeting in the prison was the first time we had ever met. She’s only recently employed at the firm and so she wasn’t at The Chateau when we first met. She is the perfect witness. You were so bloody angry with me in the prison. You were so believable. I was to be honest, a bit shocked by you at the time. Jess certainly never suspected we were lovers for even a moment.”

Anna explained “I kept telling myself over and over my story was the truth, and I played the part in my mind like an actor reciting my lines. I was the bewildered widow.”

” But and this and I cannot emphasise this enough Anna, we have to be far more than discrete. We can have a few lawyer and grateful client quick coffees together. That’s normal, and understandable. That’s all. Occasional ‘dinner’ as growing ‘friends’. Nothing at all overt, certainly no overnights. I’ve told you before I still think to be completely safe we should leave New Zealand at different times soon and ‘accidentally’ meet up in some other country, probably in Europe or Asia. New Zealand is too small for secrets. If we want to be together, I still think we need to be overseas somewhere where no one knows us.”

“I agree Penny. You can choose the country. You’ll find work doing something. I can always cook anywhere we go.”

“Tell me though Anna, the one thing I still don’t understand throughout all of this is how you don’t ever seem to feel at all guilty about doing this despite you having your deeply ingrained Catholic conscience? Divorce is apparently never an option for you but killing Billy like that is. I still can’t get my head around that.”

“Conscience. That’s the New Testament forgiveness sort of happy-clappy sort of crap. I’m an old school Catholic. I far rather prefer the certainty and simplicity of the Old Testament. It makes far more sense to me. An eye for an eye. Pillar of salt. The sinner stoned to death. The punishment fits the sin. That sort of stuff. You might have heard Penny of the New Testament story of the Prodigal Son who goes off and has a great time and spends and wastes all his money on wine and loose women and probably young boys. He falls on hard times and comes back with his tail between his legs expecting to get hell from his father. To his great surprise the father totally and instantly forgives him and is happy he is home and alive and he orders a feast to be prepared to celebrate the son’s return and they kill a beast and roast it and bring out a great feast with all the trimmings. The older brother who has worked his arse off on the farm all day long and has always obeyed all the father’s rules is mightily pissed off when he sees what’s happening when he gets in cos even though he has been good all his he has never before been given a feast in his honour. He complains this is not fair, but the father tells him essentially to piss off and get over it and accept it. Well Belinda is the prodigal daughter, and I am the older sister who is a hell of a lot more than pissed off. I could never understand the father in that story not siding with the older brother and not even understanding why he was quite justifiably pissed off. It never made any sense to me. It didn’t seem fair. Belinda was not getting away with it twice. No way! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, it’s shame on me. My only real regret in this whole thing is I wish it were Belinda who were now dead and Billy in prison for killing her but of course this is the next best option. The only option open. I love you Penny, like I've never known love. I've loved you right from the start when we first met that first evening at the Chateau and you took me to your room. I’ve never been made love to so tenderly like that in my life. I still tingle all over every time I relive it in my memory.”
 
“Me too, for me it was love at first sight. Well to be honest more love at first touch. Remember how I asked you during the day how I could know how well-done the steak was and you said nothing at all in reply. I will always remember how you silently took my hand in yours and squeezed it and took my other hand and gently touched my index finger against the plumped up fleshy part near your thumb to let me know how it should feel when perfectly cooked and all the time you looked into my eyes and we both made that powerful and almost electric connection that made my ovaries almost do a somersault. That night we had at the Chateau was amazing. We’ve kept it so quiet and secret in our meetings since.”

“I never admitted to myself I was a lesbian. Of course, I always knew that I was that way inclined because I liked and fancied women, but I used to think being that way had to be a terrible sin. I shouldn’t be like that. I tried to hide my true feelings. I think, well I know, that’s why I probably agreed to marry Billy when he asked me. It was mostly to please my mother I said Yes. I couldn't ever have done any of this without you.”

“Nor I without you, you played your part so incredibly well. I so love you Anna, or should I still keep on saying...... Mrs. Murdoch”. They both laughed and tenderly embraced and kissed ever so passionately. Anna sighed with sheer delight as they both came up for air, “You're mine Penny. And mine alone.”

“Forever,” said Penny adoringly. Anna replied, “My gorgeous, gorgeous ........ My own Rosebud.”









Author’s note

The book is deliberately set in Wellington, New Zealand where I live and contains a few NZ colloquialisms which are grammatically correct in local context. All the detailed hypnosis information is factual. The relaxation reflex described by Charlie works incredibly well. A solution to anxiety is included in another best-selling self-help book the author has written called Relax: Say Goodbye to Anxiety and Panic and also in a new textbook for therapists published and currently only available in German language at this stage on How to Cure Anxiety in Just Four Therapy Sessions called ’Wie man Angst in nur vier Therapiesitsungen Heilt.’ The author is indeed a world class medical hypnotist and has lectured internationally frequently but I can tell you has been happily and faithfully married to the same amazing woman for over 40 years. Charlie Lambert is a fictional character but could be described as the Mr. Hyde to his Dr Jekyll. It has been great fun to imagine a memorable and despicable character like Charlie. Charlie may seem like a totally over the top and completely unbelievable sort of character, but I’m sure women will know of some men with outrageous views genuinely like him. My only concern is some male readers might even view him as an appropriate and admirable role model for unscrupulous seduction. Hopefully not. Women are surely not that gullible in true life, I certainly hope not.
 
Miktim said:
It was obvious the lawyer was a lesbian when she constantly turned down the chance of a ride with our world famous hypnotherapist 👍
Click to expand...
True, she had to be broken to turn down that opportunity.
Although you'd think a world leading hypnotherapist could have convinced her not to be a lesbian just for one night? And after a night on Doc's magic cock her lesbianism would be cured for life 🤷‍♂️
 
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