the Immaculate Deception serialised on The Noise

Aw naw, billy Murdocks deid, Bobbys brother, used to play fur ra Celtic tae, work wi him in carillon, he Wis a glazier, efter he hung up his boots, Wis fae rutherglen, whits he daing, in New Zealand wi a big chib hinging oot him……..Billy’s deid and Tim’s investigating, is that no usually the other way aboot🤷‍♂️
 
Hoopy427 said:
On a serious note, do doctors have trouble diagnosing their own conditions?
For example would a doctor spot obvious signs of narcissism in themselves or would they just look in the mirror think "you're awesome" then serialise their latest book on Celtic Noise? 🤔
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Self diagnosis and also self medication never end well maybe docs really hannibal lector and he's been playing everycunt for donkeys years all the while running about murdering silly Billy's 😜
Which tbf wid be totally acceptable mind u bet they fuckers are a tough eat fuck eating one of they're arsecheeks🤢🤮🤮
 
Fisiani said:
Anna butted in, “Tell me…. I need to know….is my Billy…is he…...is he …dead?”

Marie looked into the pleading eyes of the distraught Anna and nodded confirmation of death and Anna slumped her head down in dejection and despair.

“He’s been dead for several hours,” said Marie in a slow and sombre tone.

This confirmation of Billy’s death was as Anna had feared right from the start. All hope was now gone. That Billy was dead had been her unvoiced fear since the first moment she had laid eyes on him in the bed and shaken his totally unresponsive arm and seen his glassy eyes. This was the official confirmation of the obvious.

“Have a seat. Let’s start with your name please” said Marie. It’s...”

“It’s Anna… Anna Murdoch” said Anna automatically as she slumped down on the living room settee and her head drooped even more. Marie came over and sat down on the settee beside Anna.

“And I know this is 162 Karori Road. The person in the bedroom is?”

Anna whimpered, “That’s……my husband…. that’s Billy……Billy Murdoch.”

“What happened?”

Anna looked bemused and stared blankly at Marie and shook her head in bewildered puzzlement. “I woke up…. looking like this” she said, pointing to the front of her heavily blood-stained floral nightdress and vaguely pointing with her right index finger towards the bedroom continued, “and I looked over……. and saw …… he was like that.”

She shook her head again in stunned and mystified disbelief. Marie wrote down her comments word for word.

The ambulance controller on receiving the news of the unexpected and dramatic circumstances at Karori from her colleague on the scene, contacted the Wellington Police headquarters as Pete had correctly predicted she would. Police HQ in turn promptly dispatched two nearby police officers on patrol to attend the presumed potential major crime scene. Police HQ also checked the roster to determine which homicide detective was on call on that shift which commenced at 7am.

So it was that Detective Tim Davidson at 7.05 am received a call whilst driving into work that would begin his role in the investigation into the violent murder of Billy Murdoch. A case he initially assumed would be simple to solve but as he later found out, would become the one and only case of his entire police career he would never be able to forget.
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This never ending billy boy joke better have a fu%@ing really good punchline
 
Fisiani said:
So it was that Detective Tim Davidson at 7.05 am received a call whilst driving into work that would begin his role in the investigation into the violent murder of Billy Murdoch. A case he initially assumed would be simple to solve but as he later found out, would become the one and only case of his entire police career he would never be able to forget.
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Must be different Polis over there... its a Tim who will investigate the death of Billy boy.
 
Miktim said:
This never ending billy boy joke better have a fu%@ing really good punchline
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It's costing me a fortune, I canny get any work done, I'm on tenterhooks waiting for the next installment!

Mibby he was just a silly Billy and accidentally stabbed himself, like the silly bastards that fall off bonfires or blow their own hand off with fireworks, they are a particularly accident prone species the Billy's....
 
"Pete rapidly decided in fact not to touch anything in the bedroom or even to take another step forward. He correctly assumed this bedroom would soon become the site of a police homicide enquiry and knew his size 12 footprints unnecessarily clumping through the congealing blood would royally piss off the forensics team and earn him a well-deserved bollocking from them. "

See! What have I been telling you all (especially you Catman)?

Size 12 is a perfectly normal size of foot and in no way means that the person is a hobbit, a yeti/bigfoot or some other sort of freak!

Thank goodness Dr Fis has brought some sort of normality to The Noise.

1658321966722.png
 
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Imatim said:
To be fair, Anna could be in shock...
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The polis need to adopt a different line of questioning, fuck all this sit down and have a wee cup of tea Anna and tell us what happened love fluffy bullshit, skelp her around the napper with a batton a few times (like they do in real life) and she'll soon squeal!

"Aye it was me I stabbed the bastard, couldny go his fuckin flute music"

Anna gets 8 years for understandable homicide, out in 4 for good behaviour and becomes a lesbian nun.

The end.
 
Bridie Bhoy said:
"Pete rapidly decided in fact not to touch anything in the bedroom or even to take another step forward. He correctly assumed this bedroom would soon become the site of a police homicide enquiry and knew his size 12 footprints unnecessarily clumping through the congealing blood would royally piss off the forensics team and earn him a well-deserved bollocking from them. "

See! What have I been telling you all (especially you Catman)?

Size 12 is a perfectly normal size of foot and in no way means that the person is a hobbit, a yeti/bigfoot or some other sort of freak!

Thank goodness Dr Fis has brought some sort of normality to The Noise.

View attachment 19335
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Normal and the noise?

Yer having a giraffe.....just wait to see where this thread goes lol
 
Hoopy427 said:
The polis need to adopt a different line of questioning, fuck all this sit down and have a wee cup of tea Anna and tell us what happened love fluffy bullshit, skelp her around the napper with a batton a few times (like they do in real life) and she'll soon squeal!

"Aye it was me I stabbed the bastard, couldny go his fuckin flute music"

Anna gets 8 years for understandable homicide, out in 4 for good behaviour and becomes a lesbian nun.

The end.
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I still think Kelly is mixed up in this somewhere...
 
You got to admit it's not a bad place their living in ,she awakes at 6.30am ,,,cracks a few off ,puts the radio on ,,,then finds billy deid like an oldco ,,,,she phones an ambulance ,,,,it turns up ,but they're not paramedics there really detectives ,,,,,they nod heads give each other knowing glances ,,,,,crack a few silents off,,,ignore the deid guy cos it might be a crime scene and appoint a detective at 7am,,,,,,,,,,,

so maybe he did the murder ,got up a six ,,,,cracked a few off , went next door killed billy ,got in his car went to subway at the end of the street ,,,,,got a call he had a murder

maybe she live next door to the ambulance station ,,,,,,,all that in half an hour

meanwhile agadoo doo doo played in the background
 
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