Germany out in the lead with 4, closely followed by Spain and Brazil who are neck and neck right behind them both on 3 then comes France hot on their heels with 2 with Holland, Argentina and Belgium all chasing like
but still on 1 apiece with the rest not even STARTED yet!
Which is not as bad as it sounds really because it doesnt start until Sunday the 20th November at 4 PM.
With the truly mammoth clash of the titans , tie of the round , tie of the day between joint favourites, sorry nice hosts Cattarh ( cough ,splutter) Vs Ecuador .
The giants of the desert Vs the ( wee ) South American outsiders Ecuador who nobody fears except England.
Never in the history of world cup football nor football for that matter has a game between a horrible cough for a cuntry and South American minnows been so eagerly anticipated by mill....many.
Cattarh ,splutter , having got off to a disastrous start against Croatia B ( they were caught trying to confiscate passports) so mini modric and co thumped them 3-0 and right back to the sand age.
Where Canada decided to also whack them 2-0 , incredibly after that they got a 2-2 draw with world cup dark horse......world cup absentees Chile 2-2 , in catarrh, apparently Chile were none to impressed with the temperature, chile insisted it was too hot to play.
Said they were melting.
Then finally just last month the spluttererers/coughers hacked up an immense result against central American giants Guatemala and won 2-0 , then the bigots beat world cup record holders Honduras by 1- 0 a momentous moment for all the sheikh(ers) and movers , face masks came off one cougher said that many went to celebrate the victory and the party mustve been so good because still no-one has seen any of them..
Honduras players were visibly choked by the catarrh result saying it made them sick to the stomach (but in spanish).
Then the shock Cattarh 4-3 Ecuador
Who saw that coming?
Who even knew it happened?
More goals in this one game than the last 40 games combined.
Ecuador however are out for revenge for that 4-3 reverse, theyve got the grit between their teeth and say the will be playing in their boots this time not their sandals, tactical error by manager who took it literally the game was in the desert.
Since then however the Ecuadorians have gone on an awesome 6 game unbeaten run ( or was it before? Canny mind )
Showing everyone they are not a South American team for nothing they have racked up very impressive results a 1-1 home draw against many peoples favourites ( if messi is fit) Argentina ( except for here on the noise where only Tartan Tim reckons Argentina can do it with or without you hoo ? messi !
Then a fabulous 1 -0 victory over Nigeria ( everybody's favourite non qualifier from Africa) .
Next up a magnificently boring 0-0 draw in cuidad Mexico ( mexico city fir non Spanish speaking folk) shocked the world into remembering how this tiny Amazonian ( or close to the jungle country) got out if Mehico alive.
Next another giant killing triumph over Cape Verde ( pronounced Verdy for non Portuguese or Spanish or Spanglish speakers) 1-0 and still undefeated.
Then finally, last two fixtures reminded the world just how effectively boring they can be by lashing Saudi Arabia into a 0-0 draw in public.
And finally the mother of all geisha's results a 0-0 draw away to Japan who were inexplicably without Kyogo, Hatate, and Maeda who were so bored to the skull that they left the country for Scotland, idegucci played a blinder in that game but unfortunately he was injured whilst wearing his blindfold.
And he is now out for the rest of the decade, so unlucky that guy Gucci .
So there we have it ( or its backwards hard to tell) but Ecuadoe are definately aiming for another 0-0 draw and hope they can sneak through when everybody's asleep.
Cattarh, unchanged and still require a decongestant.
The world awaits this 0-0 spectacle written all over it with baited breath, cos its hard to breathe in the desert
All up to date now tune in later for more total bs from the desert , except for the results all true .
Free drinks at Pride Bar on the Bazaar followed by some good stretching exercises thatll have you going from pillar to post and never want to see another rainbow in your life
Ok can I lie down now?
WITH A WOMAN! WITH A WOMAN!
ONE THATS MY WIFE!
Just kidding you can have as many wives as you want as long as they're yours and you have the camels to pay for them .