Aberdeen v Celtic - Scottish Premiership Sunday 27 October kick-off 12.15pm

Not done the deep cover hun attempt on another fourm. I've got it nailed down where I can spot a hun a cross the road wearing plain clothes. Doesn't have to speak. Its mental but it's a 95 %+ chance. I'm fucked, I had a table in work, 30th birthday party, stank of hun and I could tell they had me sussed in 1 minute especially the maw. They were a good bunch though, good laugh. The father shook my hand and said everthing had been first class and what a great night. He asked my name then the whole table erupts with laughter and the ma saying "Ah told ye" 😂.
She said I look like a tim, walk and speak like one. I laughed "aye yer team is your team" and she winked back
 
Not done the deep cover hun attempt on another fourm. I've got it nailed down where I can spot a hun a cross the road wearing plain clothes. Doesn't have to speak. Its mental but it's a 95 %+ chance. I'm fucked, I had a table in work, 30th birthday party, stank of hun and I could tell they had me sussed in 1 minute especially the maw. They were a good bunch though, good laugh. The father shook my hand and said everthing had been first class and what a great night. He asked my name then the whole table erupts with laughter and the ma saying "Ah told ye" 😂.
She said I look like a tim, walk and speak like one. I laughed "aye yer team is your team" and she winked back

Big tippers were they?
 
Not done the deep cover hun attempt on another fourm. I've got it nailed down where I can spot a hun a cross the road wearing plain clothes. Doesn't have to speak. Its mental but it's a 95 %+ chance. I'm fucked, I had a table in work, 30th birthday party, stank of hun and I could tell they had me sussed in 1 minute especially the maw. They were a good bunch though, good laugh. The father shook my hand and said everthing had been first class and what a great night. He asked my name then the whole table erupts with laughter and the ma saying "Ah told ye" 😂.
She said I look like a tim, walk and speak like one. I laughed "aye yer team is your team" and she winked back
I was in b and q last week and noticed a guy buying a 3 pack of a shit type of building adhesive, I was just about to say don't buy that mate it's crap then I noticed the big RFC and red hand tattoos, meh it's your money, hope your shelf falls down and hits you on the napper! 😹
 
I was in b and q last week and noticed a guy buying a 3 pack of a shit type of building adhesive, I was just about to say don't buy that mate it's crap then I noticed the big RFC and red hand tattoos, meh it's your money, hope your shelf falls down and hits you on the napper! 😹
Probably gaun tae sniff them hoopy, it's the only Buzz the mhanky cant will get this season.
 
Big tippers were they?
Not bad actually, as I said a good bunch. Ntcham and Eddie fucking shocking. First time ntcham came in the gaffer thought there had been a problem as he didn't leave a dime. 2 more visits fuck all. Eddie inbetween nowt as well. French thing. If I didn't know them I would of expected it by the accent. Its all down to nationality or where someone is from. Even Scottish when you hear cola instead of coke 😁. Its bonkers but certain accents/nationalities and you know what is going to be left
 
Commons probably the worst. He knows better. Few fuck alls and a pitiful £5 on a £300 bill. Worst still he had an wee Pre tip chat with his wife. 100% everything was spot on whole table said so. Again if I didn't know him and went off the accent I'd of said a 5er. Hate to profile but if it's that accurate that many times then I say it's not too far off the truth.
 
Commons probably the worst. He knows better. Few fuck alls and a pitiful £5 on a £300 bill. Worst still he had an wee Pre tip chat with his wife. 100% everything was spot on whole table said so. Again if I didn't know him and went off the accent I'd of said a 5er. Hate to profile but if it's that accurate that many times then I say it's not too far off the truth.
That's poor patter should know better. Minimum 10% of your bill. Boils ma piss things like that.😡
 
Probably to repair his gimp mask.
Haha it was my mates 30th last week. The lad is a bit bonkers, weird but not violent. His ma hadn't invited us all round since his 21st 😉. We don't bother with presents but I was in Poundland buying lighters and got carried away. Halloween stuff was on sale so I got the idea of a murder and mayhem kit.
- ducktape
-zip ties
- bleach
- claw hammer (badly cast from chinesium steel and what looked like thumb tacks as a wedge)
- large tarpaulin /waterproof ground sheet
- heavy duty rubber gloves
- can of irn bru and a half wine(co-op) murder is thirsty work
-sellotape and wrapping paper
- Halloween hockey mask
- extra strong bin bags
Lassie at the counter, bless her wasn't 100%. Had the para thought though...I must have triggered some sort of gov watch list haha.

His ma pissed herself when he opened them all. Got a photo wearing all the gear.
His bird is a crazy hippy euro banger she didn't get the joke and said she was "very happy as everthing was very useful as they were moving house, we need these things, thankyou very mutch" 👍🤣🤣🤣
 
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